A little update

We came back home late Monday evening and are playing catch up now.  All with a new perspective of course. Sadly, Kyle's mom passed away Monday, December 20th. Her husband, mother, 5 children, 3 daughter-in-laws, 1 son-in-law, and 1 grandchild were present when she passed away. Kyle has mixed emotions having experienced the last moments of her life. It was painful for him to watch her struggle for those last breaths.  I think that would be a hard memory to have, too.

Kyle put together that sweet video tribute for her viewing on December 22nd and spoke at her funeral December 23rd. He did a beautiful job. I am constantly amazed at all he has been juggling the last several weeks-- work, taking care of me, the children, traveling to Boise to be with his Mom, and having to bury her at such a young age. I marvel at his strength, but also at his ability to express himself during hard times. This has been very hard for him, but not debilitating. I wish I handled trials with as much grace.

Cade and Savannah have a remarkable understanding of life and death, the concept of a body and spirit, and resurrection.  They were very sweet, tender, and respectful through it all--- when Grandma was sick but didn't really look it, when she was dying, after she had passed away, the viewing, and finally the burial.  I think Ruby has the greatest understanding of it all, though. She is still very young and after spending several days at Kyle's parents' home during this sacred time, I am convinced the veil is very thin for infants. If only she could talk!

While it was a sad time, it was also a good time. We spent a lot of time together as a family in that home during Mary's last days as well as through Christmas. We played games, laughed, shared our memories of Mary, ate delicious food that neighbors and friends kept bringing over, did a little Christmas shopping, shed some tears together, and prayed together. There was a very sweet feeling in the home. I am so glad to have shared this experience with Kyle, his family, and the children.

Christmas morning was tender for us all I think. Don opened the gift Mary left under the tree for him. I don't think there was a dry eye in the room when he pulled out the t-shirt blanket she had made for him. He didn't know she had made sure it got done.  There were many helping hands in the Relief Society that made a lot of Mary's wishes come true these last few months. I hope one day to be able to personally thank each of them for doing that for Mary. Their gift of time is priceless.

Along with the quilt was a sweet, sweet letter to Don she had written. I think that was the best gift given this Christmas.   The next best gift was the books on death Mary had picked out for the grandchildren. In it she wrote a special message to each of the kids. Writing was really difficult for her in her last weeks, which makes the gift all the more meaningful.

So, that's a brief re-cap of the last several days. Well, brief for me anyways.

Tomorrow I go in for surgery #2..... it will be great to have these feet fixed....but for now it feels like "normal" is so far away..... I know it could be much worse, so I'll stop there with the complaining and leave you with some pictures of our last few weeks....

Don holding Mary's hand.

It was so sweet watching Don and Mary in her last days. Many times I felt as if I was intruding on an intimate conversation even though she couldn't speak. I know she heard Don and appreciated his love and concern for her.

Our little Ruby 4 months old. She's a mini-Cade we've decided! Thanks for loaning the Bumbo chair, Rebecca! She loves it. 

Auntie Kristen holding little Ruby (she did a lot of that the last several days--- THANK YOU, Kristen!) getting a dose of what's ahead of her in the not-so-far future. She's due in late February.

Our sister-in-law Sarah who is apparently very excited about the prospect of delivering her beach ball soon. :) 

Randy with his ultimate treat--- bread and milk, garnished with a healthy hunk of cheese.

Kyle's Uncle Neal's birthday is on Christmas Eve. This year for his birthday he wanted to host a polar bear plunge at the pond by his folks' place. There were quite a few crazies who joined him, including Kyle. :)

Savannah took her part as an angel in the Nativity at Grandma and Grandpa Hunters house very seriously. She held this solemn face during the entire narration.  She was very excited to hold a "hangah daddy bwoke" as her halo.

Cousins and 2nd cousins!  It's so much fun for the kids to get together and play/ransack great grandma and grandpa's play rooms.

The Woodburys Five Christmas Eve.  I should have some sweet caption over this picture but all I can think about is how badly I need a trim. :)

The kids in their Christmas jammies!!!  I wholeheartedly confess I LOVE dressing my girls alike when the stores accommodate me. Cade had fun being called "candy cane" by all his cousins and running away trying to keep them from taking a bite out of him. 

Mary gave her Mother this framed Woman's World magazine cover from the month and year she was born.  It was very touching.

Mary's last gift to Don--- a beautiful quilt made with lots of love and memories.

Mary's Burial

December 23, 2010

The boys carrying her casket....

Don and the youngest two, Heather and Scott, share a tender moment together.

Kyle holding Savannah next to the casket. Sometimes it's comforting holding a sweet little girl.

Savvy lined up with her girl-cousins while the siblings put dirt over the vault. It was a neat experience for them all to see the process.

Mary was very specific in some of her funeral requests. She wanted her children to manually load dirt on top of the vault until it was completely covered. She said she thought it would help them with closure.

Kyle, to be honest, wasn't a fan of shoveling dirt onto the vault and it didn't give him the closure his Mom had hoped for. A lot of people hung around for this part, so perhaps if it had been a more private setting, he would have felt differently about it.

Kyle and Randy....

The young children peering into the hole.  We've never stayed this long for a burial, and this was a first for all these young kids, too. Notice the cute gal in the green jacket-- that is Rachel, Mary's niece. She's wearing one of Mary's hats. So cute.

My daddy holding Baby Ruby. She's in a warm snugly pink outfit Mary gave her, which I thought was quite fitting for her to be wearing for the burial services.

My momma lovin' on Savvy. It was so sweet of my folks to drive up for the services. They took the kids out later that night for pizza, which they thoroughly enjoyed.

A Tribute to Mary....

Last Letter To Mom

It is difficult to express my love and gratitude to without giving me time to write, edit and re-edit my letter to you. Instead, I am going to just write what comes to mind as I have thought about this long enough and don’t have more time.

I want you to know that I love you and will never forget the things you have taught me. I can only imagine leaving us and the fears you might have at this time. Remember that you have not only taught us to look to the Savior but have shown us through your life that you have a testimony of Him and keep His commandments. We are going to be ok and we will never forget you.

There are lots of memories of you I would love to write, but instead I want you to know some of your qualities that I love about you:

The first quality I love is that you were always so much fun. All my friends loved coming over to my house because they thought you were so cool. I remember Jared and Nathan and other friends always wanting to do sleepovers at my house because they preferred you being the “mom to watch us” if someone’s mom had to be there. That didn’t seem to ever stop. As long as I can remember, all of our friends loved coming to our house because they knew they were welcome and that you loved all of them.

One trait you have that sometimes embarrassed me and sometimes I loved was your ability to get what you wanted. Actually, that probably sounds bad but I regard this as a trait of success. I remember calling radio station one evening and not being the right caller to win tickets to an event. You called back and just asked if I could have the tickets anyways. You negotiated for about 5 minutes with the DJ before he gave them to you. I think I adopted this trait in you.

In addition with the previous trait of getting what you want, you have the incredible desire to work until you achieve your goals. This is another one of your characteristics that I love so much. I believe that hard work will get us further in life than by potential alone, and your example of hard work is instilled in me. I remember you helping me set up my first door to door job selling vegetables. I would carry our garden vegetables to all the neighbors until I had enough money to buy a wagon. Then I kept selling until I had enough money for something else. You taught me that I could achieve any of my goals if I worked hard enough.

Another quality I love about you is your unconditional love for everyone. I don’t know how many foster kids we had growing up. My guess is around 50-75. Even at an early age I was able to see the love and care you have for everyone. You will certainly not be lonely up in heaven as I am certain you have plenty of people eager to thank you for the charity and Christ-like love you gave to their children and grandchildren. I have a soft spot in my heart for children that grow up without good parents and it is something I have because of the example you showed all your life.

The final thing I will remember is your testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. You have left no doubts that you have a testimony of Jesus Christ, that he is the Savior and Redeemer. I know we will see you again and that through the Atonement of Christ, we will all live again together.

Mom, I love you and want you to know we will never forget you. I am so glad we had a little girl we could name after you. We named her Ruby Elizabeth after you and she will be a constant reminder to me of you. We will miss you and think of you often. You are leaving first and I am glad that you will be able to welcome us back one by one. Take care of our loved ones that are gone and are still to come.

Love,

Your Son Kyle

It's 11:30pm, Do you know where your husband is?

Growing up watching the nightly news I always got a chuckle at those "It's 10pm, do you know where your children are?" blurbs. It baffled me to think that some parents would actually need a reminder on the TV to prompt them to start thinking if they were aware of their childrens' whereabouts.

15+ years later I now think I would be a beneficiary of the public service announcement under two conditions: 1. it ran at noon, 2. I was a regular at watching tv at noon. Had I met these two conditions last week, I might have been able to avoid the embarrassing episode of my neighbor bringing Savannah back to my house after she quietly escaped.

It was very unfortunate of me to think my kids were playing quietly. I know better. My children never play quietly. They squeal. Whether it's an "I stole your blankie" squeal, or an "I hid your lego time machine" squeal, or "we're having fun tackling each other" squeal, there is always a squeal to be had in the house. I should have known for those 2.5 minutes when there were no squeals in the house, that also meant there were no children in the house.

For the record, I do know where two of my children are (and it's so easy for me to gush with love for them this time of day). My third, also being my DH, I am not certain. He's likely still inthe office, but I am not entirely sure as our last communication took place roughly 6 hours ago. Maybe it would be wise to head out to the car and retrieve my cell phone to make sure I haven't received a ransom call from his kidnappers requiring a wire transfer to Barbados. Hmmmm....but this bed is so comfy....and I'm getting sleepy....