Chirping and Beeping and Facebook Etiquette

I was awoken this morning at approximately 4:57 am to Chirping and Beeping.

Not the chirping of birds signaling the long awaited arrival of sunny skies and warm temperatures. Not the beeping of a car announcing a surprise arrival of my husband (wouldn't that be a nice surprise?!).  'Twas the chirping of my smoke detector telling me my battery was dying (or dead?) and the beeping of my oven.  Odd/ironic/cosmic how they decided to join each other in a simultaneous chorus of annoying sounds at such an inconvenient hour at exactly the same time. I briefly considered in my groggy state it could be my late Mother-in-law playing a practical joke on me, attempting to pry out my sense of humor that is easily lost when I am stressed and tired. I wouldn't put it past her. She was always fond of practical joking in many forms, but almost as soon as the thought came I tried to put it out of my mind and stifle my chuckle. It seemed irreverent to have such a thought. It is Memorial Day.

With beeping and chirping nagging at me while I lay in bed, I so badly wanted to be able to nudge Kyle in the leg and send him to take care of all things electronic. But there was no Kyle in my bed to nudge. Just myself and the fear that if I waited much longer the noises would wake the entire house. Ruby was the first victim and she began wailing.  Feeding her was really the only pleasant thing about being up at that hour. She was particularly smiley and cute and I almost forgot about the noise. I was grateful she was showing obvious signs of being ready to go back to sleep after finishing her milk. After putting her back down I assessed the annoyance levels on my "what's driving me more crazy" barometer. The chirping I decided was the most annoying between the two, so I lugged our ladder from the garage back to my bedroom and unscrewed and maneuvered the smoke detector open. Turns out your arms and neck get quite a work-out when doing the seemingly simple task of unscrewing a detector from the wall and getting the battery out. It was not simple. And did you know that even after you rip the smoke detector out of the wall and disconnect the battery it still beeps? I was unaware of that. Heaven was smiling on me this morning because not only did I know that a fresh battery for the detector existed in my home, I also knew of it's exact location which was miraculous to me. I was able to silence the blasted thing once and for all. I know that should the day come that new battery saves my life I'll be eternally grateful, but for today I am allowing myself to be annoyed.

And then the oven.

It was displaying an "F7" error on the display screen. Whatever that meant. Pressing "Clear" on the display pad silenced it for only a few moments, and then it was back to it's annoying intermittent beeping. So I Googled the issue (heaven forbid F7 means the gas line has been disrupted and if you don't fix the problem in 30 minutes your house will blow up) and it turns out it's a common problem with an inexpensive fix.  I will interject here and mention how grateful I am for Google's efficient search engine and for people who take the time to publish random things such as  "my oven is beeping and displaying an f7 error" and then other people with extensive knowledge on such topics as f7 oven errors take the time to publish the remedy and even include step by step pictures. What a wonderful information accessible world we live in! So, back to the inexpensive fix. Inexpensive meaning if I did it myself. If I hired someone else to fix it, it would no longer be inexpensive. If I didn't hire someone else, it would be inexpensive, but time consuming. At 5:43am I was not feeling very sharp minded nor excited at the idea of taking apart the display panel of my oven, so I opted for the immediate and free, albeit very temporary fix by switching the breaker for the oven to "off" and save that fun for another day.  I guess I will not be making chocolate cake for dessert today.

And that is how my day started. Not the choicest of methods for waking up, but it could always be worse. Yes, it could be worse, but I still whine. I hate not getting to decide when and how I rise in the morning. I just feel robbed.

While I'm feeling snarky, allow me to refer back to the topic of the awesomeness of information via the Web. I'd like to share a handful of  useful lessons I learned in a mere 10 minutes of facebooking last night:

1. If I really want to be "facebook photogenic," I must always put one hand or both hands on my hip(s) when posing for a picture. Horror of horrors, I have been a facebook frump all this time. Not a single one of my photos has me posing like a red-carpeter. Gasp!

2. If I have just spent time with a friend, especially one that I see quite often, it is absolutely essential that I write on her wall messages such  as  "Love you!" "Miss you tonz!" "Had a blast tonight! XOXO." Even though they are meant for just one girlfriend and I could just as easily text or shoot her a personal facebook message or e-mail (because we all know handwritten notes are SO old-fashioned), it's good to show the whole world that I am really social and have a life. While it may seem creepy the messages I send her eerily resemble messages I would write to my husband, it's totally cool and totally normal.

3.  It is necessary to post my whereabouts, whatabouts, and thoughts every 4 hours or so because people care to know them. Apparently.

4. People love clock watchers and those who despise working. Always post "The weekend went waaaay too fast," or "Ugh, I hate Mondays," or "Is it Friday yet?" And don't just post that every once in a while after a bad day or particularly lovely weekend, but 78% of the time. Or more. It's especially favorable to post these thoughts while at work.

5. In conjunction with number 4, it is very hip to announce one's forthcoming inebriation for the weekend. Since I don't drink, I'll have to pass on this one, but this would be wise for others who do drink to note and heed.

6. Because sending personal messages in any form, hand-written and electronic is so passe'-- I must reserve all my most heartfelt birthday, anniversary, and other major holiday greetings for Kyle's facebook wall. No need to EVER purchase a card, write him a note or tell him in person I love him. Facebook brings it to his heart conveniently for all to see.

I better stop there. I'm an hour late for my facebook post! {snicker snicker}

What's in a Name?

a ruby.

When we learned we were having a girl in February of 2010, I was pretty sure I was going to name my daughter-to-be after my great-grandmother. Pretty sure. I always answered "We think we're going to name her 'Ruby' but we'll see," when asked if we had picked out a name. Ever since I birthed Cade thinking he was a daughter, I decided I couldn't be sure of a name before I had the baby.  "There's always that "gotta double check that they look like a ____" before you actually do it. It really rocks your world when your child comes out a different gender than you were anticipating. 

So that's why I feel the way I do about names.

When my third-born came into this world, I was hesitant. I wasn't sure if the name fit. She looked so dainty and fragile. To me, Ruby was for a strong, spunky, free-spirited soul. Like my great grandmother. At first sight, my new child looked more like and Elise...or something. Kyle immediately began posting pictures of our newest addition and tagging them with "Ruby" so I just went with it. But I was uncertain. For almost a month I was unsure of her name and finally brought it up to Kyle. She just didn't look like a Ruby. So then we experimented and tried to call her something else. We brought it up to the kids but they were not having it. Her name is RUBY, Cade told us. He was certain of it and we were not going to change it. Even when Kyle and I said we were going to try out other names (he liked Isabelle) we always fell to Ruby or Rubers or "the Dubes" when referring to her. 

And so it stuck.

About the time she turned 6 weeks, I noticed her cheeks were fattening and her eyes were bluer than ever, like my grandmother's. And almost overnight, she looked like a Ruby. 

Just like that. 

Now I am certain the name fits her perfectly.

Below is a cherished photo I have of my Great Grandparents. Grandma Ruby is holding me and resting her cheek on my head. It almost looks as if my Grandma Ruby is holding my baby Ruby. Our cheeks are the same, and you can't quite tell the color of my eyes, so they cold pass for blue ones. And like her mama, my Ruby loves her pacifier, too.

I feel especially fortunate I was able to make so many wonderful memories with Grandma Ruby before she left this life. I'll always remember her for her bright red Avon lipstick and hearing her whistle her Swedish accent that sounded like home whenever she said my name. She made the best angel food cake and never let you get away with just a single serving of anything. "You're a growing boy," she would tell my brother Austin and load up his plate with more pancakes. 

I miss her.

But' I'm glad her name lives on.

Now don't you think our little girl needs shoes like this one?

I'm putting my kids in the funnies

There are many reasons to love kids. And there are many reasons to love my kids. They are funny, cute, sweet, and brutally honest.

For instance....

Recently home from school, Cade initiates an interesting conversation:
"Mom, do you know Mrs. C? I like Mrs. C. She's a nice teacher. I like Mrs. W., too. But not Mrs. L.
"Why don't you like Mrs. L?"
"She's only sometimes nice and has a loud yelling voice when she's mean. You know, kind of like you."
"Hmmm. Sounds like I need to work on being nicer, don't I?"
{Savvy pipes in}
"Well Mom, you're doin' the best thatcha can. It's a lot of work takin' care of us wifout Daddy. We know you're trying your hardest to be nice."

I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry at that one. I may have done a little of both.
------------------------

Here's a sweet conversation I had with Sav the morning after we took Kyle back to the airport.

"Mooom. I miss Daddy. I miss him too much."
"You should probably call him today and tell him that."
"I know. But I don't want to."
"Why not?"
"Because. Whenever I tell him I miss him, he tells me he misses me more, and I don't want him to tell me that because it's not true. I miss him more."

_____________________
And for the cute:

"Oh my heart is so excited, it doesn't want to wait! It's so excited to see what it's like to play soccer!"

                                                   --- Savannah while en route to a soccer clinic

A Wonderful Whirlwind Weekend

This afternoon we took Kyle back to the airport. Sniff, sniff. He came home for a quick visit and it went by WAY too quickly. We managed to squeeze in an awful lot while he was home:

On Thursday as soon as we got home from the airport Kyle raced to the back yard to show the pool guys how to clean our pool to get it opened (I'm glad I had the foresight to schedule the appointment for when Kyle was home. It seemed odd to me that he was showing the pool guys what to do, instead of the other way around).

Friday: More pool cleaning, yard work. Vaccuming, too. I find my husband particularly attractive when he vacuums.

We stole Cade out of school a couple hours early, for which we were expecting a much different response than we got:
"Mom, why did you get me out of school?"
"Because we are going to do something fun as a family since dad is home!"
{Bored slash grumpy face}
Thinking I must have pulled him out of some really fun activity I asked, "What were you doing just now in class?"
"Math."
"Well, you can go back to math if you want,"
 Cade starts back to the school doors.
"Woah woah woah! I was just kidding. No more math for you today bud. You MUST take a break and have some fun with us!"
Cade reluctantly got in the van. Who is this kid and what did he do with my son Cade!?

Fortunately it didn't take long for Cade to forget about all the Math fun he was having at school and start having fun playing tag at Kangaroo Zoo (I am terribly out of shape. After running as fast as my legs would carry me and still not catching Cade, I decided it is time to start running again) After KZ, we mini-golfed at Trafalga. That was hilarious. Savvy never grew tired of hitting her ball in the hole. Even after 23 hits with her putter, she would shriek with delight every time it finally made it in. It was a hoot.

After feeding the kids dinner and putting them to bed, Kyle and I went out to dinner to LaJolla Groves. It was delicious. I think my favorite part of the evening took place when our waiter (who was sporting a fabulous mullet) began talking to Kyle about slicing his thumb with a knife. Kyle may be able to gut and skin an elk, but the thought of human blood makes him faint.  Kyle went white at the table and the waiter kept going into graphic detail. I finally explained to him Kyle can't listen to that sort of thing.  It was entertaining. After dinner we explored the new Provo Beach Resort to see what the big new building was all about, and then we looked at the time and it was 9:13. Past our bedtime. So we went home. We're getting so old.

Saturday: Kyle went with Cade to baseball practice where he got his first nosebleed. As in Cade got his first nosebleed. Now he hates baseball and doesn't ever want to do it again. Kyle thought telling Cade he had 30 or 40 nosebleeds from baseball was a good idea. Now Cade is dreading the summertime. Because of baseball.

After practice Kyle spent some time pitching and hitting in the front yard with Cade and Sav and then we all drove to watch Kyle play soccer (or rather, Kyle played soccer and I tried to watch while keeping track of Cade and Sav and feeding Ruby.) It was so gloriously sunny I got a little tan line on my legs from my shorts.

Later there was more yard, pool, and play with the kids (I snuck in a nap) time. Sunday we had Stake Conference. SO glad Kyle was home for that. So, so glad. I've done many a stake-conferences on my own before, but none with three kids. I'm outnumbered. I took a delicious afternoon nap (can naps be delicious, you ask? Try going a month without one and then take one. Delicious is most definitely the perfect word to describe such an experience)

We had a lovely dinner with Randy and Kristen and watched a couple of outstanding videos from their recent distribution center purchase. I highly recommend "Only a Stonecutter" and "The John Tanner Story" -- both inspiring and well-made.  You'll re-think how you view your sacrifices of time and money to other causes. I feel mine are meager at most.

This morning we snuck in a trip to the temple and did sealings after getting Cade off to school. It was a great way to end our time together.  While waiting to go into the sealing room, I recognized the smile of an older gentleman sitting with his wife on the bench next to ours. After racking my brain for several seconds, I whispered to Kyle "How do we know him? California? Virginia? Chicago? BYU? Orem?"  Unable to pin them down, I asked where they were from and said they live in Spanish Fork. Nope. They just returned from serving in Chicago. Yep.  Small, small world. They were mission presidents (is it just me or do you always want to call the mission president's wife the first lady?) of the mission where we lived out there. Now they are serving in the branch presidency of the MTC. I love how people just serve and serve and serve in the church and never tire of it. It's truly remarkable.

While Kyle packed up (the lightest I have ever seen him pack in my life. One carryon!) I took advantage of my last moment of errand running without having to hire a sitter. He really enjoyed feeding Ruby and tucking the girls in for their naps. It was so sweet to see him relish in perfunctory tasks that I so easily take for granted.

When we pulled up to the drop-off at the airport,  Kyle began reminiscing about the time he dropped me off at the airport to go to Ecuador when we were engaged. I corrected him that I dropped him off at the airport in North Carolina so he could fly back to Idaho and then I flew to Ecuador the next day.  It seems we've said goodbye to each other so many times it's hard to keep track...and it doesn't seem to get any easier. :(

When we got home Savannah was very adamant that we get started on our dessert for family home evening. She chose chocolate cake. That's my girl! Oblige her I did. We got started on the cake and then realized our sour cream was rotten. So we took a field trip to a few neighbors for sour cream and struck the jack pot at the lovely Pierson's. Have I ever mentioned how fantastic my neighbors are? You'd want to live here. Btw, the house next door to me is still for sale. Just saying.

 At 5:30 I began to panic. Although the cake was in the oven, dinner needed to be made, eaten and cleaned up in 30 minutes. My phone miraculously rang with my sister Melody on the other line asking if we'd had dinner yet. I laughed. I hadn't a clue what we were going to MAKE for dinner, much less had a chance to eat it. Then she said she had tons of extra if we wanted to come and get it (she apologized for not dropping it off herself. She's so crazy!) What an angel! My children LOVED the meal and it really saved me. I suppose I made the right choice choosing cake over dinner after all. I love it when life works out like that. Sisters are the bomb.

{rebecca, melody, little liam and me on his blessing day}

Tonight for FHE we had a couple come over and share with us about their mission to the D.R. Congo. My children were mesmerized to say the least. They kept asking questions and the Moodys were so sweet to entertain their curious minds. To see the look on Savannah's face when they told her a lot of children there do not go to school was priceless. I want my children to recognize how blessed they are to live in this country and to be grateful for all they have. This was by far the most effecting teaching tool yet. I think I need to start looking around for more resources like this to add some excitement and variety to our family nights.

And, because I can, here are some of my favorite facial expressions of Ruby...

Kidding, kidding. Ruby doesn't have this much hair. 

Cade and Ruby could be twins! Except Cade was born about 6 years before Ruby. And she decided to start crawling about 2 weeks earlier than he did. Other than that, they are pretty much the same.

See? Told you so.

speechless

Words cannot begin to describe how I feel about these pictures. I'll just let them speak for themselves.

My daughter-in-law's Jewelry and Sweet Ruby

Apparently Cade only mourned my death for less than a day before he began thinking of the benefits my demise could bring him... this was our conversation on our way to the library:

"Mom, I was wondering, when I die, could I have your phone?"
"Why would you want my phone? You're not even old enough to have a phone!"
"Well, when you die I'll probably be old enough to have one. "
"But why would you want my phone?"
"Well, if I just got your phone, then I wouldn't have to worry about figuring out how to buy my own."
"Well, sure, if you are old enough for a phone but you don't already have one, you may have my phone when I die."
"Thanks. Um, I have another question."
"Sure. What's up?"
"Rings. Could I have your rings and jewelry, too?"
"Like my wedding rings and my jewelry?! What on earth would you do with my jewelry?"
"Well, for my wife. I would give them to her."
{This is the moment I expect Savannah to pipe in and she and Cade to start fighting over who gets my jewelry when I die.}
Instead, Savannah hollers from the back seat, "Oh Cade, you can have some of my jewelry to give her, too! I've got lots of necklaces and rings and bracelets!"

This is getting hilarious.

Our little Ruby, born with a fair amount of dark hair.

We are wishing Ruby a very happy 9 month birthday today!  She is a darling little angel. It's interesting to see the 3 different personalities in all of my children.  Ruby seems to be a combination of Cade and Savvy. Savvy is my social, free-spirited, carefree and happy girl. Cade is my mellow, pensive, thoughtful and competitive boy. Ruby is easy-going, content, but cautious. She's not crazy about strangers, which is a place I haven't been in for a loooong while. I don't recall either of my children caring if they knew the person holding them. Ruby, however, really prefers me. Perhaps that may have something to do with all that one-on-one time she and I spent hanging out in my bed for 2 1/2 months while I was recovering from surgery. We had a lot of time together, Ruby and I. I love being the one that makes her feel safe and happy, so for now I don't mind it at all.

Big eyes, chubby cheeks, and a button nose. LOVE.

Such an easy going girl! I toted her around in this wonderful baby wrap around Disneyland this past winter. She was a champ.

Happy to join along for the ride...

 I couldn't stop kissing the top of her head while shewas in that wrap. She was at the perfect height. LOVED it! 

She's a beauty! (If I do say so myself.)

Where does time go?

Just look at those eyes! She is a sweet, sweet delight and joy in all of our lives and is truly a gem.

More fly-talk

While at the grocery store today with Sav:
"Ooooh Mom, look! Cheetos!!!! Those are my favorite. Will you get some? PLEEEEASE?"
"No, sweetie. I'm not getting you any chips or cheetos."
"Why not?"
"Because they aren't healthy and it's my responsibility to make sure we have healthy food at our house to put in your body."
"I guess I should ask Dad to get them for me."
"How come?"
"Because he's not in charge of me being healthy. He's like a kid!"

Oh, out of the mouths of babes!

-----
Savannah's aside to me while we're on speakerphone with Daddy and he mentions we should get a puppy...

"Mom, I know what we can do! We can pray that God will make you not allergic anymore so we can get a puppy! Isn't that a great idea?"

Answered prayers or not, we're never getting a puppy. Or a kitten. Or a parrot. Period.
____

"Cade, baseball starts today, are you excited?"
"Oh Mooooom! Can't you just sign me OFF? I don't want to play baseball!"

Keep in mind this is about his same reaction the first time we put him in soccer and now he loves it. Time will tell.

____


"Mom, I need to talk to you. It's really scary. It's what I've been thinking about for a long time."
"What is it?"
"What would I do if Dad got killed and then you got shot?"
"Well, you would live with one of your aunts and uncles and they'd take care of you and Savannah and Ruby."
"But I don't know their phone number. How would they know to come get us?  And how would they know how to get to Hillcrest? Uncle Jake doesn't know where Hillcrest is. Neither do Randy or Kristen. Only Melody and Rebecca know."

That was just the beginning of the long and honest conversation I had with Cade tonight. You'd think with my kids talking about bombs and us getting killed and shot that we read bedtime stories akin to Rambo before going to bed each night.  My first instinct was to just tell him not to worry about it because I wasn't going to die and that sort of thing would never happen. But I realized as safe as we feel in our little bubble, I could never promise that something awful wouldn't ever happen to us. So then I explained that we have an important piece of paper that tells everyone who is in charge of the kids and leaves enough money to take care of them. Cade was still concerned the authorities wouldn't be able to contact his aunts or uncles because he didn't have their phone number. So I promised I'd print out a sheet with all of our families names and numbers on it so if something ever did happen, he could call them. He seemed at ease after that, interestingly enough. I have learned it's much better to talk plainly with the kids than try and avoid or brush uncomfortable things under the rug.

How To...

The 3 chillins and I are in the middle of our fourth week of missing Kyle. I had to look at the calendar because I lost count. After 2 weeks it kind of got depressing telling people how long he's been gone, and it became easier to honestly say "I'm not sure. A few weeks?"  At this point I'm feeling that it may as well be week 9 (though I am very glad this is not week 9!)  It seems like so long ago that Kyle was here, pacing the front yard on the phone dealing with some issue, a common sight if you were to drive by our home.

Now I'm lucky enough to be part of the dozens and dozens who fight for phone time with Kyle. Yes, lucky me. Our conversations range all over the spectrum. Sometimes I call him to figure out how to shut the hot tub off because the blasted thing overheated and won't stop running. Sometimes I call him to tell him I'm overnighting HIS kids in a UPS box. Sometimes we call him to see if he can pick the opening song for FHE and join us for a bit. And sometimes we just chat about our day.

This is how part of our conversation went the other night:

"I think this is worse than you being a soldier in World War One."

"Um, no, I don't think it is."

"Okay, so reeeallly it's not, but think about it from this point of view. We can talk to you every day, often times multiple times a day about mundane things, funny things, or important things. There are commercial airplanes able to fly you home. But yet you're there."

"Ah, I see. It's hard because we are choosing to be apart. I'm not here for the sake of freedom for humanity. Not that it would make it any easier."

"Yes!  I know what you're doing most of the time. I know you're alive. I don't fear for your life {though Kyle is always full of good stories that could perhaps make me fear for his well-being} It's accepting the fact every day that I could see you and it wouldn't be that hard to arrange. You're not in some top secret location and I don't go months without a call or a letter. We are still choosing to be apart."

I do know what I am experiencing is NO comparison to one's spouse being off at war and don't ever want to claim this is anything close to that. Our situation is by choice. This isn't a moral or ethical decision we've made to achieve world peace. I do firmly believe Kyle's choice in providing for our family is a noble one and appreciate it down to the depths of my heart. I do acknowledge I am very blessed and have many of life's modern conveniences that simplify daily chores and make life more enjoyable. I am able to do this because I can see the big picture and recognize what Kyle is not only providing for us in the here and now, but also providing for our future. And while I can see all of that on the horizon, some times in the here and now it's just plain hard.

I am asked multiple times a day how I don't go crazy being apart from Kyle for so many days at a time, being responsible for my children all day every day without getting to share them with him.  I don't claim to be an expert on this, but I do have a respectable amount of experience, so I have written my own article on the matter. Parenting Magazine received their copy last week.  It came back with so many red marks, I believe I'm on track for it to be published in September 2034*. 

This is not intended to be one of those self-righteous "be like me" dialogues that make you want to crawl in a hole because you feel so worthless. Promise. This is taking a small slice of the Woodbury Life that is actually working and sharing it. Take note that the rest of our pie is totally in crumbles. Delicious, still, but in crumbles nonetheless. Cross my heart.

How not to go crazy when your spouse is out of town for an extended period of time

by Michelle Woodbury

1. Routine! Routine! Routine! Having a daily and weekly routine helps the kids know what to expect and prevents a lot of wasted energy that often goes into figuring out what is going to happen and how. From when the bathroom scrubbing, laundry folding and story time take place, to basball practice, swim lessons and Family Home Evening, they are all important enough to find a spot on my planner, be it my real one or my mental one. I am better able to not stress about my house looking disastrous {Yes, even when unexpected guests arrive} because I know it will get picked up. It may not happen for another 8 hours, but it will happen. And that's the best I can do.

 When things are routine, it makes each day conquerable and enjoyable. It's like cooking. If you learn how to cook a complicated dish and cook it often enough, in time it doesn't seem like a complicated dish  because it's familiar and before long you no longer shy away from making it for dinner because to you, "it's easy." That's what routine does for my days without my man.

2. BE FLEXIBLE! While routine is important, we're dealing with the ultimate X factor: children, who are supremely talented beings when it comes to forcing one away from plans and schedules. I have to be flexible to change things in my routine or go with the flow when unexpected things come up. Kids get sick, tires get flat, and mommies get tired.  I've got no choice but to roll with it. Easier said than done, but my general rule for most planned events and outings is just simply having low expectations or none at all. Then you're always satisfied with how things turn out. Now if only I could teach my kids the art of low expectations.

3. Respect Bedtime and Nap time.   I admit these to be highlights of my day, so perhaps that is why I respect them so much.  It really helps with my sanity, and keeps my two nap-taking girls in good spirits (generally speaking). I know come 7 pm, assuming the day is going as planned, I will be able to be alone in my thoughts. While most days go by so fast, there are days I feel like one of those clock watching nine-to-five government employees when I check the time to see how much closer it is to put the girls down. 

4. Weekly one-on-one dates with each child. I have many friends who have been doing this for years. I've been meaning to do it for a while and have finally started and have already seen the great wisdom in it. Each week I take one of my children out on a "date." They can pick what activity we do or I can help them plan it. This gives me a chance to connect one-on-one with each of my children and shower them with my undivided attention while giving praise, love and affection that doesn't get interrupted by a baby crying, the phone ringing, or a sibling howling. The kids LOVE it and so do I.

5. Time for Personal self-relfection and communion with God. I know that to be happy and to find peace, you have to feed your spirit.  Sure chatting with girlfriends is essential to my mental well-being and having some me-time getting a pedicure sounds fantastic, but for me, the ultimate me-time is attending the temple and it comes first before other personal indulgences.  Journaling, prayer and scripture study {If we're being completely honest here, which I'd like to be, many days it's scripture "reading" and not "study"} are additional (and essential) ways I feed my spirit.  I also enjoy listening to talks given by prophets and priesthood leaders while doing mundane household tasks. 

6. Have a dependable babysitter your kids love.  Clearly, none of these could happen if I didn't have a superb, trusting and capable babysitter to depend on (and a husband with a job in which to pay her). When Kyle was first gone, I soon realized just how nice it is having a spouse around to hold the fort down when,  "I'm just going to run to the store" or "I'm going to Cade's school for an hour" or "I've got a Relief Society meeting this evening". It's hard not feeling trapped in the home when you are the sole responsible adult in the household 24/7.

Enter Samie.

 Not long after Kyle left for the summer, I was talking to my friend on the phone and she mentioned her daughter was home for the summer from school and they were just figuring out her summer and what she could do to earn some money. I jumped at the chance to hire her. She is AMAZING! She arrives promptly, entertains Cade in games of hide and seek, willingly reads Ramona books to Savvy until she's blue in the face, and does my dishes and picks up toys when all is quiet and the kids are sleeping.  She's fantastic!

At the beginning of each week I look at my calendar and then e-mail Samie a schedule. Doing this has forced me to be more of a schedule-oriented person. Before I often shied away from scheduling a regular sitter because I didn't know if I'd "be in the mood" or if "something would come up."  Committing is hard. I like to do things on my own watch, but when I'm involving another person into our world, it's only fair to plan ahead. :) And clearly, it has served me well. Because of Samie I am able to volunteer in Cade's class while the girls nap, attend the temple, take the little ones out on dates, and then have some personal enjoyment time as well.  

7. When in doubt, breakfast for dinner makes everything better. It's no secret that cooking in the kitchen is not my favorite pastime. When Kyle is gone, the amount of time I spend in the kitchen is decreased even moreso. There have been times when I am at a loss of what to make for dinner and my kids are unhappy and hungry. When I announce we're having waffles or pancakes or eggs for dinner, the effect is instantaneous. I immediately perk up because I've just solved the million dollar question "what are we having for dinner?" and my kids start cheering and hugging me. Having breakfast for dinner turns a stressful evening into a special occasion. For all those other times I'm not in doubt over what to prepare, I keep our meals healthy and simple. I don't have the emotional and mental capacity to spend a lot of time in the kitchen cooking for these little humans who can't appreciate the difference between a meal that took 20 minutes vs. and hour and 20 minutes to prepare.

8. Have a stash of comfort food on hand.  Just knowing it's there for me gives me comfort. I am not promoting emotional eating, but I will not deny that a quiet place coupled with a favorite food convinces me, if only for a few moments, that all is right with the world. I indulge and allow myself to thoroughly enjoy the moment. There is no place for guilt. One must also understand the fine line between indulging and engorging. One mustn't cross that line. Engorging is not enjoyable. Speaking from experience.

9. Have a stack of excellent books you've wanted to read. Reading is a wonderful escape. It stimulates the mind while taking you to a far away place. So far from sibling fights and poopy diapers. It's the ultimate reward to a long day. Sometimes the stack of books on my nightstand is a mean tease because often there isn't enough time for them. Oh, but the evenings that there is time to sink into a good book, it's glorious!

10. Get enough sleep. I've mentioned before that I'm finally finding the self-discipline to just go to bed. I've been a night-owl my entire life and have always wanted to be a morning person.  One of my favorite sayings goes something like this: "We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become each day." This won't let me hide behind "I am a such-and-such-type person." I just needed to change my habits, DAILY, and I could become who I wanted be be. Sometimes #9 gets in the way of #10. Like I finished a book last week by staying up WAY too late. I paid for it for another 2 or 3 days. Usually I know better and go to bed. When I do, I wake up happier with more control over my day and with a significantly more energy. We've all had those days when we couldn't wait to find a moment to put your head to a pillow. Those are the days I feel so out of control-- out of control of my time and of my emotions.

I'd love to be able to add this one to the list of things I'm doing: 11. exercise regularly. Buuuut I am being honest here. I haven't worked it into my routine just yet.... for the first time in my life I am actually WISHING for a treadmill. I used to despise those things, but really, having one would really solve a lot! I just need to start running again and then I know I will LOVE it and not look back.

12. Teach your kids to work. Having regular daily chores in my household assigned to each child I'm hoping is teaching them responsibility while simultaneously lifting my load a bit. I didn't realize until recently I've actually come to a place in my life where my children can actually really be quite helpful. One night I was in the middle of cooking dinner and Ruby was squealing slash growling in despair because she was hungry. For a split second I felt overhwlemed and was about ready to holler at no one in particular, just at the situation, (please tell me you know the exasperated groan?) and frustrated Kyle was gone, because this would be one of those moments where I"d turn to him and say "Hon, can you feed the baby?" Then I had a light bulb moment.  Ask Cade or Savvy to feed her.  It suddenly seemed so obvious. Both jumped at the chance to do it and for a while they fought over who got to feed her. The excitement of the newest discovered job has worn off, but they are usually willing to help feed her, which is tremendously helpful to me. Cade is great at taking out the garbage and cleaning his bathroom and Sav takes out the recycling. I've also put them in charge of certain things in the home. I call Cade the "Outside Manager" -- he's in charge of overseeing that all the toys get put back inside the garage at the end of the day and the garage gets shut. Savvy is my "bottle manager" She picks up Ruby's bottles and puts them in the sink. These seemingly simple tasks are a great help to me and the kids feel important being a "manager" so we are both happy!

In a perfect world, all of these coping mechanisms would ensure that I'd never lose my cool with my kids, never find myself in tears over something insignificant, and that my angels were all perfectly angelic all of the time and my home was in ship shape. I'm an imperfect human being, so this isn't the case. Some days my home resembles Sophie's bedroom. Some days I forget about the rolls in the oven and burn them. Some days, my kids are the ones having the melt down in the grocery store because I am not buying that cereal {mental note to NEVER take them to the grocery store EVER again}.  Some mornings I wake up so exhausted I do want to cry. But we do have great moments and even great days. I have experienced such joy in motherhood, even so doing it "on my own" and there are many more choice moments to be had.  These are the things I do to help me see and savor those sweet, sweet moments. And keep me from going crazy. Well....I haven't gone crazy yet.

**********************

{Though fuzzy these pictures still may be of interest to posterity...}

Date night with Sav -- dance performance at BYU. To say she loved it would be a SERIOUS understatement.

Meeting Jimmer!  In 2-D!!!

I started having the kids be part of the rotation for giving the lesson during Family Home Evening. This was Savvy's lesson on Lehi's Dream. She put this together all by herself. I was so tickled I had to take a picture. It's so funny how early on the differences between men and women show up. I wouldn't have been surprised if Sav had gotten out a table cloth.

My mom, sisters, and niece at Trafalga. We celebrated my nephew Tyler's birthday here and it looks like I must have taken this picture while Mel and Bex were dancing. ???? :) Love these ladies. They, too, keep me from going nuts.

Sav and Tyer having their own story time after story time. Whenever I see them together their resemblance to each other is so uncanny.  They are often mistaken for twins.

*Totally, absolutely and unmistakably kidding! You all know I only write for pleasure. I will never claim to be expert enough or literate enough for anything of mine to be publish-worthy. I know, I'm so funny. 

If you were a fly

Every day my children say things that totally crack me up or amaze me in wonder at their understanding (or lack thereof) of the world around them. I always intend to jot them down, but come the end of the day, I've forgotten most of them. Here's some that do come to mind.....

While passing a series of yard sales on the way to Cade's soccer game, Savannah squeals, "Oh look! A yard for sale!"

*****
While putting Ruby's clothes away, Savannah approaches me with a very serious question, but discusses it in a very casual, matter-of-fact way....

"Mom, will our house ever blow up?"
"Probably never."
"Never?"
"Yep."
"Well what if a bad guy puts a bomb in it?"
"Well, then our house will probably blow up."
"Oh. Okay."

****

While watching the opening song of Seussical the Musical Cade groans under his breath,
"Mooooom, this song just keeps going on forever and ever and ever! When will it stop?"

****

There's a girl in our neighborhood who Cade is certain has a crush on him. As such, he avoids her and won't even so much as look at her, in fear that he might actually act like he likes her too and then get teased for it.  Well, we happen to be good friends with the family and they had us over for dinner. Cade put on his imaginary "I'm avoiding you" goggles and immediately went to work on totally ignoring this sweet girl. To say her feelings were hurt would be a serious understatement. Not long later, all of our kids were happily buzzing around the yard chasing, squealing and laughing with each other, running through the stream in the garden, which my kids were referring to as "the river" -- or as Savannah would say, "the Wivah."

This morning, Cade woke me up excitedly to share his latest epiphany on the whole matter:

"Mom. I think there's beer in the river.  So anytime I am not liking Addie, I just need to go to the river and play in it and we'll be friends again. Don't you think?"

"Um, no Cade. I don't think there is beer in the river."

"No Mom. I think the SPIRIT is in the river You know, like the Holy Ghost?  He helps me to be nice and have fun and be friends with Addie."

To Donate

That is the answer.

I was called back to reality this evening in the most beautiful and touching way. My neighbor recently returned home from her mission to the D.R. Congo with her husband and shared of her experiences there.

{photo courtesy of Mormons Serving Worldwide}

My heart is full. I have so much.

Do I have to walk miles a day to get water for my family? Do I have to share a hospital bed with three other women and cross my fingers that my baby will survive? {Forget about the epidural}  Does it cost me a third of my monthly income just to transport myself and my family to church? Do I pay taxes and get NOTHING in return from my government? Do I have to pay to educate my children? Do I run the risk of losing everything if my husband dies because there are no laws protecting me as his spouse? Could the government take everything we own and kick us out of our home because we are not residing in the village in which we were raised?

No, no, no, no, no, no and heck no.

And that is just the beginning.

I am blessed.

I often slip into tunnel vision when I'm on my own. I become so focused on the children and my home and making it through the day that I forget about all the social injustices that plague this world.

It is high time I come outside of myself and recognize the things I can do to help others and make a difference.

Read an inspiring story here.

To donate, sell or consign?

That is the question. Want to hear something funny?

Kyle met with our accountant a few months ago and came home to report to me a sickening amount of dollars we would be paying in taxes for 2010. I was physically ill for about a week. It's hard to explain why I had such a physical reaction to this. Paying the money was not a problem. We had it. It just set something off inside me and I immediately went into ultra conservative mode,  announcing a stop on all spending unless it was for groceries or bills. Period. Up to this point, I had been getting excited about designing my living room/library that a friend of mine was helping me with, but after the tax meeting, I felt like I didn't want to spend any money on anything unless it was essential to our livelihood. Then I began thinking of all the things I could do to squeeze dollars out of what I already had laying around so I could still do the living room without spending our money. My closet was the first victim. I did some major spring cleaning in my closet and parted with a ton of clothes and a fair amount of shoes. My sister had told me about this event called "Just Between Friends"- a consignment event. You tag your clothes and bring them on hangers and if they sell you get 65% of the profits.  We talked about getting together and going through all of our maternity clothes and consigning what we wanted to part with. The bins we had been using to pass around the maternity clothes were large and full to the top, which made it hard to see the cute stuff.

I love getting rid of "stuff", and it was so easy to part with the things I didn't love. Then, I decided it was time to part with the little boy clothes I was hanging on to since Baby #3 turned out to be a girl. So I decided I would consign most of that, too.

Last week my sisters came over and we went through the maternity clothes. It was great! We got a big pile of things to consign and organized all the keepers.

I finally looked online today when exactly this event is and it's Thursday. So between now and Wednesday morning if I want to consign, I have to tag and hang all those clothes.

Here's the funny part.

I would be thrilled to just drop everything off at DI and call it a day.

After all that. There are a few reasons for my lost steam. 1. Kyle met with our accountant again and after updating our deductions we ended up paying less than I was originally told. The pit in my stomach left and I've eased up on the wallet restrictions that were formerly in place. 2. I read the fine print and the place only wants maternity, infants, children or juniors clothing. None of my regular, non-maternity stuff. 3.Mostly, I'm just plum tired.

Part of me is wondering if that's just cover-up for laziness though. Am I being lazy? Perhaps.

I suppose the good thing in all of this is that I've got the clothes in piles and I am ready and willing to part with them all, regardless if I get a single dollar for them. I plan on consigning the maternity clothes but other than that....????  You know if someone drives by my house with a flyer asking for clothes and shoe donations for the people in Japan I'm ready to throw all my bags of clothes at them before they can flyer my next door neighbors.

At the heart of this dilemma is this simple truth: "Nothing is quite so beautiful as empty space."

The other simple truth? I want empty space more than I want dollars.

I think.