We came back home late Monday evening and are playing catch up now. All with a new perspective of course. Sadly, Kyle's mom passed away Monday, December 20th. Her husband, mother, 5 children, 3 daughter-in-laws, 1 son-in-law, and 1 grandchild were present when she passed away. Kyle has mixed emotions having experienced the last moments of her life. It was painful for him to watch her struggle for those last breaths. I think that would be a hard memory to have, too.
Kyle put together that sweet video tribute for her viewing on December 22nd and spoke at her funeral December 23rd. He did a beautiful job. I am constantly amazed at all he has been juggling the last several weeks-- work, taking care of me, the children, traveling to Boise to be with his Mom, and having to bury her at such a young age. I marvel at his strength, but also at his ability to express himself during hard times. This has been very hard for him, but not debilitating. I wish I handled trials with as much grace.
Cade and Savannah have a remarkable understanding of life and death, the concept of a body and spirit, and resurrection. They were very sweet, tender, and respectful through it all--- when Grandma was sick but didn't really look it, when she was dying, after she had passed away, the viewing, and finally the burial. I think Ruby has the greatest understanding of it all, though. She is still very young and after spending several days at Kyle's parents' home during this sacred time, I am convinced the veil is very thin for infants. If only she could talk!
While it was a sad time, it was also a good time. We spent a lot of time together as a family in that home during Mary's last days as well as through Christmas. We played games, laughed, shared our memories of Mary, ate delicious food that neighbors and friends kept bringing over, did a little Christmas shopping, shed some tears together, and prayed together. There was a very sweet feeling in the home. I am so glad to have shared this experience with Kyle, his family, and the children.
Christmas morning was tender for us all I think. Don opened the gift Mary left under the tree for him. I don't think there was a dry eye in the room when he pulled out the t-shirt blanket she had made for him. He didn't know she had made sure it got done. There were many helping hands in the Relief Society that made a lot of Mary's wishes come true these last few months. I hope one day to be able to personally thank each of them for doing that for Mary. Their gift of time is priceless.
Along with the quilt was a sweet, sweet letter to Don she had written. I think that was the best gift given this Christmas. The next best gift was the books on death Mary had picked out for the grandchildren. In it she wrote a special message to each of the kids. Writing was really difficult for her in her last weeks, which makes the gift all the more meaningful.
So, that's a brief re-cap of the last several days. Well, brief for me anyways.
Tomorrow I go in for surgery #2..... it will be great to have these feet fixed....but for now it feels like "normal" is so far away..... I know it could be much worse, so I'll stop there with the complaining and leave you with some pictures of our last few weeks....
Don holding Mary's hand.
It was so sweet watching Don and Mary in her last days. Many times I felt as if I was intruding on an intimate conversation even though she couldn't speak. I know she heard Don and appreciated his love and concern for her.
Our little Ruby 4 months old. She's a mini-Cade we've decided! Thanks for loaning the Bumbo chair, Rebecca! She loves it.
Auntie Kristen holding little Ruby (she did a lot of that the last several days--- THANK YOU, Kristen!) getting a dose of what's ahead of her in the not-so-far future. She's due in late February.
Our sister-in-law Sarah who is apparently very excited about the prospect of delivering her beach ball soon. :)
Randy with his ultimate treat--- bread and milk, garnished with a healthy hunk of cheese.
Kyle's Uncle Neal's birthday is on Christmas Eve. This year for his birthday he wanted to host a polar bear plunge at the pond by his folks' place. There were quite a few crazies who joined him, including Kyle. :)
Savannah took her part as an angel in the Nativity at Grandma and Grandpa Hunters house very seriously. She held this solemn face during the entire narration. She was very excited to hold a "hangah daddy bwoke" as her halo.
Cousins and 2nd cousins! It's so much fun for the kids to get together and play/ransack great grandma and grandpa's play rooms.
The Woodburys Five Christmas Eve. I should have some sweet caption over this picture but all I can think about is how badly I need a trim. :)
The kids in their Christmas jammies!!! I wholeheartedly confess I LOVE dressing my girls alike when the stores accommodate me. Cade had fun being called "candy cane" by all his cousins and running away trying to keep them from taking a bite out of him.
Mary gave her Mother this framed Woman's World magazine cover from the month and year she was born. It was very touching.
Mary's last gift to Don--- a beautiful quilt made with lots of love and memories.
Mary's Burial
December 23, 2010
The boys carrying her casket....
Don and the youngest two, Heather and Scott, share a tender moment together.
Kyle holding Savannah next to the casket. Sometimes it's comforting holding a sweet little girl.
Savvy lined up with her girl-cousins while the siblings put dirt over the vault. It was a neat experience for them all to see the process.
Mary was very specific in some of her funeral requests. She wanted her children to manually load dirt on top of the vault until it was completely covered. She said she thought it would help them with closure.
Kyle, to be honest, wasn't a fan of shoveling dirt onto the vault and it didn't give him the closure his Mom had hoped for. A lot of people hung around for this part, so perhaps if it had been a more private setting, he would have felt differently about it.
Kyle and Randy....
The young children peering into the hole. We've never stayed this long for a burial, and this was a first for all these young kids, too. Notice the cute gal in the green jacket-- that is Rachel, Mary's niece. She's wearing one of Mary's hats. So cute.
My daddy holding Baby Ruby. She's in a warm snugly pink outfit Mary gave her, which I thought was quite fitting for her to be wearing for the burial services.
My momma lovin' on Savvy. It was so sweet of my folks to drive up for the services. They took the kids out later that night for pizza, which they thoroughly enjoyed.
Cade...
