After Christmas Gym Madness

(real Gold's Gym photo)

There is nothing worse than going to the gym the 3 weeks after Christmas. I realize that I am no Georges St Pierre, and so my reason for going to the gym is like everyone else's. But c'mon, if you know you aren't going to be dedicated for the rest of the 51 weeks why kid yourself, waste the money, and ultimately make me wait to use the ab machine or eliptical? I suppose I shouldn't be too critical since working out, even if it's only for 3 weeks is still healthy. However, it is just that new people don't seem to know what is couth or kosher.

Today I saw a new guy clipping his toe nails on the bench in the locker room. Hey everyone has to trim their toe nails right? Just please put a towel under your feet, or wipe down the bench when you are done or do it in the bathroom where nobody can see. And please, if your feet are rotting like this guy, DON'T do it next to me! How do I know this is a new guy? I don't, I just feel like labeling him that.

Another thing that bothers me is wrestlers. I wrestled in high school and feel a certain brotherhood when I see a bunch of guys sitting in the sauna inside garbage bags with arms and legs cut out or wearing like 11 layers of sweatshirts. In fact, I usually ask what weight class they wrestle or how they are doing this season. But for the love, please don't spit all over the ground while I am in the sauna. I can't believe you think this is acceptable. (Also, cutting like 12 lbs in one day isn't healthy. I realize your coach probably wants you to do this but I am sure wrestling the weight class approximately your weight is a good idea.)

Finally, I don't know if I am just jealous or think it is stupid to have dedicated "outfits" for the gym. I am not talking about old "state champion" shirts from high school (of course you want us all to know who you were in high school), or the Abercrombie and Fitch shirt with a huge number on the back, as if it were a real athletic shirt. I am talking about people with matching shoes, hats, pants etc. It's like they are going to the gym to show off how good looking they already are. I want to go up to them and let them know that they have graduated or have successfully completed their mission and can stop spending 4 hours daily at the gym. "You look great!" or "that will do" or "could you stop making me look like a choir boy" usually come to my mind when I see these people. Oh, and I forgot to mention that 90% of the time these guys/girls smell like a million dollars and I can't help but wonder if they have even started working out yet.

Anyways, congratulations on making the New Year's Resolution to start coming to the gym. I will only see you for a couple more weeks until I don't see you til next year.