The Highlighter That Took the Cake

I've mentioned before the mind-boggling nature of my taking part in PTA and school affairs now that my son is in kindergarten. Elementary school is so fresh in my mind that it is hard to believe that I am the parent/gaurdian of my own elementary school goer. I was insufficiently warned at what all encompasses the world of parenthood in the midst of education. Case in point:

Not too long ago (two weeks maybe?) the PTA put on the school carnival. It was a well-planned event with all sorts of games and activities for the kids to enjoy. Being the proactive and PTA parents that we are, Kyle and I each took a turn manning the pirate toss booth. I strategically planned for me to work from 5 to 6, so Kyle could man it from 6-7. Why?

The silent auction, of course! I love silent auctions. Real auctions are more fun (well, if you count the annual ward service auction for the Youth to raise money to go to camp as a real auction), but still, any sort of auction is fun. The last time I took part in an auction, I bought homemade oreos to be delivered on any day of my choice (I chose my birthday in case you were wondering) and also 8 man hours labor for yard work. That was a beautiful day. So, as you can imagine, I had been looking forward to it all week. I was excited to see what donated items there would be to bid on.

Once I was free from the bonds of the pirate toss, I made my way to the auction site. I was not disappointed. Fat Cats passes, baskets full of holiday decorations, gift certificates for eyelash extensions (yes, you read that right. apparently there is a procedure out there that can temporarily elongate your eyelashes aside from the fakeys you can buy at Sally Beauty Supply) and much more. One gift basket caught my eye. It was a huge basket fullof NuSkin Product (apparently $600 worth) and also special season tickets to see the Utah Jazz (worth somewhere in the $600 range as well from what I recall). The basket had me at hello if you know what I mean.

As of 7:15 only one person had bid on this $1200 prize. The auction closed at 7:30. I was horrified that such a generous gift would only bring in a disappointing fraction of the cost of the gift, so I raised the bid and walked around to see what else I could spend Kyle's hard earned money on. I found some gymnastics lessons for Savannah and a cute purse and then went back to the table. Apparently the bidder had been watching me and up-bid me. So I put my bid down, and checked on my gymnastics lessons. A couple minutes later I came back and noticed I had been outbid again by the same person, so I bid again.

"Ah! Why did you do that?" A woman snapped at me. I looked up and saw a woman with an attempt at a sarcastic face, but it seemed creepily and genuinely irritated at my bid. I looked at her hands and noticed she was holding a fat magic marker. The person who had been crossing out my bids and upbidding me had done so in a fat magic marker. I was beginning to get the picture. I just smiled and said, "It's a pretty cool prize, huh?"

She didn't say anything and studied the bid sheet for a while and wrote hers in. there was about a minute left so as soon as she bid, I up bid her again. She was somehow shocked. I didn't understand. Couldn't she tell I liked the prize? She grabbed the bid sheet, and studied it for a while again. There was about 30 seconds left and she wrote hers down. But she didn't put down the paper.

"Um, could you put the paper down so I can bid again please?" I asked.

"No. Besides I've got the highlighter."

Say what? I was confused, and in a state of shock at the same time. Here was a great prize that I had the intention of bidding on and a fully-grown adult woman was withholding the bid sheet from me. And what was all that power-speak about referring to the highlighter? I was confused. Then I looked around me and things began to fall into place.

Each item up for auction now had some sort of "supervisor" next to it holding a highlighter. As soon as time was announced to be up, the supervisor could hurry and highlight the winner of the prize on the bid sheet so other stragglers couldn't sneak a bid on and claim they were the highest bidder. So the woman "supervising" the Jazz/NuSkin basket also happened to be my competitor. How's that for conflict of interest?

Now, I'm not one for confrontations or anything. But I was bugged. I was willing to pay a legitimate sum of money for that prize, yet this woman who obviously wanted the prize for a bargain, actually withheld the bid sheet from me and then tried to bully me out of bidding more by telling me she had the highlighter. As if she had all the power in the world or something. But here's the tricky thing about where I live: My little neighborhood community has become my world. We all live near each other, we all shop near each other, and we all go to church together. It was not out of the realm of possibility the woman was in my ward. I mean, she looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it. All I knew though was that making a stink over something would not be an easy thing to walk away from later. I was the new girl. All the PTA moms had their little groupies and I was an outsider. Nobody had my back. Nobody knew who I was. So who would I be to call someone out on behavior as ridiuclous as the behavior I had just witnessed? All that aside, I knew I couldn't just walk away (I could hear Kyle in my head saying, "you let her get away with that?!")

So, I looked her in the eye and calmly said, "I don't think that was very cool of you to do that. Kind of unfair don't you think?" A little flustered I called her on her childish behavior, the woman coughed up a nervous laugh and said,

"Oh you were just staged to make me pay more money for this prize, weren't you?"

"No, actually I was willing to pay a good sum of money for it." I responded matter-of-factly. (Though admittedly, I really wanted to sass back at her).

The woman continued to remain flustered and said, "Oh, well my husband's going to kill me for spending so much money on this."

Annoyed, I just shook my head slightly and walked away.

A little unsettling, right?

Of course when I told Kyle about it he was ready to call someone in charge and complain. I explained to him the unwritten rule of PTA women having each other's backs. "They're friends, honey. All they'll do is apologize for it and hang up the phone. Nothing will change except that I will be blacklisted from any other PTA affair. I'll be "Michelle, the girl who got offended and threw a fit when she didn't win the Jazz tickets."

Thankfully Kyle calmed down, and when a member of the PTA called me that night to report I had won the gymnastics lessons (score!) he refrained from tattling.

But it still bugged me, you know?

So, about a week later I was going through all of Cade's papers (side not here: I was not prepared for the mountains of papers school sends home with just one child each week. It is so much!) and came across the school's monthly newsletter.

And then it dawned on me.

Highlighter woman was also pictured on the front page next to "PTA President's Message..."

The woman was the PTA president.

And to ice that already sour-tasting cake, I happened to park right next to her when picking up Cade at school the next day.

AWK.WARD.

On a completely unrelated note, today we experienced our first fallish day. It required a jacket! I was kind of in a funk and felt a little off-kilter. Something about wearing jeans and a jacket just put me in a funk. And then I got excited when I remembered the sweat suit I invested in last winter and have been happy since I put it on.

I'm excited to see the leaves changing and am ready to start drinking. Hot Chocolate, that is.

I was going through some old pictures and came across these adorable shots of Cade 4 years ago in our yard in Provo in the middle of fall. What sweet memories...