Making It! Victories from May.

I'm 21 weeks. More than half-way!

I am thrilled to the tips of my toes to report I have been able to retire my spit-cups (if you don't know, don't ask. you will never look at me the same afterwards) for the most part, with the exception of evenings. I've been off intravenous fluids for so long I finally collapsed the IV pole in my bedroom Tuesday and disposed of the leftover fluid bags.

This is progress!

I can eat greens again!  Shoot. I can just EAT again. With food that actually has flavor in it! And I daresay I've kind of gone a little crazy these last 2 weeks indulging in any excuse to stop somewhere to eat. Because I was hungry and because I could keep it down. And because it's good!  I still stay away from orange juice, which I miss desperately, but it's a small price to pay.  I can talk on the phone, drink water, and walk up and down the stairs without it making me throw up!  I can change Ruby's soiled diapers, take out the garbage and do dishes without losing my lunch. I can do both my hair and my makeup when getting ready for church instead of having to pick one or the other. And I have moved my chair out of my bathroom and can do it standing up. I smile and mean it. When people ask how I am doing and say, "Well!" I mean that, too.

I've come a long way.  I am so very grateful.

So what does it feel for me at 21 weeks? At this point I'd say I now feel like how most other non-H.G. (hyperemesis gravadarum) people feel in their first trimester. I'm nauseated, but not to a point that it's debilitating. I throw up on occasion. I tire easily and by 8pm I want to collapse from exhaustion. I'm kind of in this awkward middle-ground area where I'm well enough to function, exist and even be productive but, unfortunately, I can get pretty cranky because I'm still not feeling awesome and I am lacking the necessary energy to really do a whiz-bang job at any task.

Before when I was so sick I had no energy to care about how things got done.  Savannah was dressed? Great! Did it match? I didn't care! Shoot if she was wearing clean clothes that was just a bonus. Now I am well enough to have an opinion about how things are, (That shirt is wrinkled! Those shorts have a drop of yesterday's ice cream on them! Go CHANGE!) but still feel under the weather enough to not be very good at exercising patience and love while asserting those opinions. Or even knowing when I should just let things go. Choosing the battles have been hard. Everything can be a battle if I let it. And I feel like I've let so many things go to war lately.

Oh, my dear children have been soldiers.

I wish it could be all over for them and they'd have their mother back. It's been so long since I've felt completely myself that I wonder when or if that will ever really happen. And then I wonder if I've really ever been patient, kind, and loving. That could all just be in my head. It seems so very long ago...

With Kyle traveling life here in the Woodbury household has been an interesting ride... and balance has been tricky to attain. I am so grateful for the help I've been able to have with them during the week while he is away. Having capable, energetic and happy babysitters has made the journey possible and even enjoyable. And oh what a blessing! I can't imagine where I'd be without our "K's"!!!

We've just made it through our first full week of "summer" and I'm still figuring that delicate juggling act between structure and spontaneity. I've yet to master that artful balance of having order and routine in the home without the kids feeling like they are walking on eggshells. Not to mention I'm practicing an absurd amount of hypocrisy. My bedroom? It's a disaster most of the time. But boy those kiddos better have their rooms picked up! Your chores aren't done? No friends, no swimming, no fun! And my chores? Well, yes that basket of laundry has sat in there for a good 4 days now and I swear I'm going to get to it one of these evenings before I fall asleep.

Oh I could go on and on about what is not going right around here, but suffice it to say I am human and run a very human household. Being able to acknowledge and celebrate the victories is the preferred way to do things (unless you are a Debbie Downer of course,which I feel like I've been and I'm trying so very hard to change that!), and it's quite therapeutic.  While I could mope and wallow in my "I'm-such-a-failure in-life-as-a-mother-wife-sister-friend-and-homemaker" misery,  I know I (and the rest of my household) can largely benefit from cheering for the accomplishments, moments of hilarity from the kids, and flashes of joy that have sparkle our world.

For starters, we survived MAY.

This is a concept I never understood before having children in school, sports, and other activities.

Don't get me wrong. May is awesome.

It's just also exhausting!


Lemonade Stands & Yard Sales. With May in Utah comes nice weather. With nice weather, Savvy catches the bug to do things like have a yard sale...or host multiple lemonade stands in a week.

Letting my children execute this yard sale was a huge accomplishment for me as a mother. It was a Saturday morning. Cade wanted to look online to see how much plasma cars cost (because, ashamedly, the neighbors with plasma cars were moving and man was he going to miss those plasma cars. Yes, he was going to miss the neighbors, too. But that, apparently would have to wait). So he and Savannah began perusing Amazon. Next thing you know they've made a list of toys they wanted and how much they cost. They went to their rooms and counted their money. Savannah noticed a painfully large deficit and decided she needed to sell some of her worldly possessions in order to help make up the difference. She began going through her closet and the toy room and came up with a pretty respectable amount of things. The "lover of getting rid of things" in me pushed her a little further and we "organized" her closet, forcing us to really dig deep into her possessions and discover those things she was willing to part with. She then, painstakingly, had to price every single item all by herself. Oh I approved the prices, but she had to write them and attach them to her items. After about 5 things, Savvy wanted to quit.  At this point Cade was thinking this was a pretty good idea, so he went to his closet and started going through his treasures, too. Savvy finally finished and then she wanted to make a flyer. So I sat down to the computer and typed up a quick blurb. After a great deal of arguing, Cade and Savvy finally agreed to me just making ONE flyer for the two of them instead of them having and individual Yard Sale flyer. They took off on their bikes and passed them out to friends and hurried home to see what kind of money they could make.  The neighbor girl had a brilliant idea of selling lemonade, only what we had on hand was a sugar-free orange  drink. But no matter! They mixed it up and set it up, definitely adding to the yard-sale ambiance of the afternoon. :)

Over the course of the next week or so, Savvy hosted 2 more lemonade stands. 

Despite my protests that the rain and chilly weather would keep all customers away, Savvy was adamant.  Here she is on her bike in the middle of explaining to me that even if it started raining, her helmet would keep her head from getting wet. She needed to go spread the world that she had a lemonade stand!

 (those are wisteria petals, Savvy's own special idea to "decorate" the table. The wooden shape toy is what she likes to use as her "cash register." Oh, isn't childhood awesome?!

Her faithful friend Lolly and the package man proved me wrong that day and each bought a cup.

Aaaaand here we are with the most recent lemonade stand. Savvy, as you might be able to tell, quickly learned the ropes on how to have a successful business. Her decor was upgraded from not only wisteria petals, but also a fake floral arrangement she snagged from the toy room. She is also wearing a dress. It's important to look your best, you know. And lastly, she managed to recruit a sales team to help her in her business just moments after selling them lemonade. She even upgraded her signage to say "Lemonday 25 cents a cup" instead of simply "Lemonade, 25 cents."

This was alllll Savvy. I swear.

Sweet sibling moments. Cade wanted to read to Ruby in his bed one night. I happily agreed to it. After Ruby was put in bed, I tucked Cade in and he admitted soberly, "Mom, I kind of skipped parts at the end of the book. It was getting really long." Don't worry, son, we've all done it. Those Dr. Seuss books can get exhausting come bed time. :)

Paying bills. This was a huuuuuuuuge accomplishment. The medical bills were really stacking up and I knew I just needed to bite the bullet and open them, no matter how much time it would take, or frustration and stress that would ensue. I had to sacrifice my nap time in order to make this happen (this was rare and precious back before school was out. now my nap time is non-existent, but I'll save that complaint for another day!), but it finally got done. 

I have to say I was reeeally fired up for a good week though after this for a number of reasons. We pay a hefty sum of money every month to insure our family. Even still, there was still a painful amount of out of pocket expenses for various things (hospitalization for my pregnancy, my home health care, Savvy's most recent trip to get stitched up, Kyle's thumb surgery). I am very grateful to live in America where we have access to incredible health care professionals who can take care of our health issues in a timely manner. But I think as Americans we can ALL agree there is a huge problem when it comes to cost.  Surprisingly, my home health care was the least expensive of all the procedures and it was the most helpful and convenient. Go figure. Obamacare, even in it's infancy of enforcement, has just exacerbated the already existing problems in the industry. It has not fixed the problems the promoters of it sold Americans on. Insurance premiums have skyrocketed, the cost of healthcare in general has risen, and there are still millions without access to healthcare. This is the tip of the tip of the tip of the iceberg I have with the issue and I will save it for another night I suffer from insomnia. Suffice it to say, I'm hydrated, Savvy is stitched up, and Kyle's thumb is still working. I am grateful Kyle is gainfully employed so that we can pay for these things. So I'll choose in this moment to be grateful the stack bills have been paid and tucked away.

 End of  School Year Festivities. The school's annual Walk-a-Thon (re-named the Fitness Fest) went off without a hitch (or very few hitches.) My sister had this vision of the kids racing against our Principal in a mile run and thanks to his awesome enthusiasm and support, we pulled it off! I have zero pictures of this event, but trust me, it was great. Cosmo the Cougar came to pump the kids up, the track and field runners from BYU came to get the kids warmed up and cheered them on during the race, and the awesome Mary J. made enough green smoothies to feed the school and gave them a little healthy eating pep talk. 

I can't say enough awesome things about the Principal at Cade's school. I've never met anyone like him. In just the year he has been there, there have been HUGE improvements, even in areas I didn't really notice needed improvement. He's a very hands-on, supportive, go-getter kind of guy and I'm really excited Savvy will get to be at the school this coming fall. 

We also enjoyed Cade's 3rd grade program (during which he kept biting his lip so he wouldn't smile. Heaven forbid he looked like he's enjoying himself while singing!).

Kept a straight face the entire time. Funny kid.

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Field Day! Oh glorious field day. The night before Cade asked me to give him a hair cut so he could run fast in the Field Day race. He was very serious about this request. So I scheduled an appointment with him the next morning at 7:30 to come to his bathroom for me to give him a trim.  Tyler rode the bus that morning with Cade so I attempted to get a darling shot of the cousins but this is all they gave me.

Tyler was cooperative, at least! Sorry Liam! Didn't mean to cut you out.

I asked Cade to find out when he was running and to give me a call so I could come watch. He didn't. So I decided to show up with the girls and guess a time. When we arrived he had already run in his first race and "qualified" (this is serious business, folks!) to run in the final 3rd grade run.  I asked him if he'd like us to stay for that and he shyly responded with, "Yeah, I'd like you to watch."  He ended up getting 3rd in his race. And this is the face he gave me when he got home that day with both ribbons. He loves being impossible! 

Savvy's last day of school! Savvy attended BYU Kindergarten this year. It was an amazing experience for her and we are so grateful to all of her teachers for the TLC they gave! Not to mention her 3-inch thick portfolio they put together for her. No kidding. If you want to know what Savvy did this school year, she'll be happy to show you!

Miss Shavon. She had such a sunny disposition. Savvy adored her.

A bonus at BYU: Not only do you have a small class size and a fabulous teacher, but you also have 3 to 4 additional student teachers giving you love, instruction and 1 on 1 attention during the year. AMAZING! 5 teachers in a classroom under 20 students? Yes, it's a fabulous ratio. Made driving Savvy to school each day worth it.

Acacia, Savvy and Bela. Sweet friends.

Dance recital! Check. Really, unless you were there, you have no idea. While the once-a-week practices were great-- stress free and fun, it was the end that got crazy. Picture day happened on the most inconvenient day of May. Thanks to a dear friend who's daughter is in it, too, Savvy got shuttled over that just fine. Then the day of the rehearsal and the actual performance? That was exhausting!

We had to take a picture of Savvy with her celebrity friend during a rehearsal break. :)  If you have ever seen Kid History on You Tube, this darling girl will look familiar to you.

After spending ALLLLL day at the local junior high for rehearsal, these girls still managed to eek out a smile....

...and return after a quick bite to eat and transformation for the final production!

Elle, Gaby and Sav

Sav & Elle 

Our little dancer...

The rehearsals were actually great for Savannah. By the time the final show took place her nerves were gone, she no longer felt the need to search the audience high and low before seeing my face, and she could just dance and enjoy herself. Clearly! 

I chuckled when I noticed in both of these shots during the performance Savvy is the only one grinning and doing the dance. I promise it didn't seem like that during the performance-- all the other girls did fabulous and danced, too. 

Savvy was tickled to get these flowers from her Daddy. She loved the presentation of them so much she kept them in the tissue paper for 4 days before I finally convinced her to put the flowers in a vase. 

Piano Recital! Check. Seriously, this was a huge feat! Just getting Cade to his lesson every week was a feat, especially with everything else taking place in May. Remembering he had a lesson in the first place was a victory, then getting him to practice was a second HUGE victory. Having him perform his song was a big deal, but I think the biggest victory of all was getting Cade to stand on the stage in front of this piano and smile for the camera.  You can tell how happy he is about it.

Oh how we love Maisa! She is so sweet and good to Cade. While she herself is a very accomplished pianist, she has a very relaxed and loving disposition that Cade responds well to. She is positive and encouraging and most of all-- PATIENT!  Cade hates that he can't play a song perfectly the first time through, so then wonders why he should even be taking piano in the first place. She reasons with him and patiently listens. The woman charges hardly a thing for her services. She truly is a gift.

The Bubble and other YW activities. I'm finally feeling like I'm in full swing with my calling at church with the youth. I love it and really missed it when I wasn't able to come to church or the mid-week activities. This particular activity we took down the "Bubble" for our fundraiser. When I say we, it was also another ward, the young men and many other helping hands and muscles who pitched in.

Adjusting to Ruby's temperament and new-found freedoms.  Oh this girl! She's in that awesome stage where when things don't go her way, prepare for that high-pitched squealy-cry. If it's something she is really mad about, You get fall-on-the-floor fit antics. I'm doing my best to not let those things get to me, but I'd say the hardest antic is her occasional refusal to sleep. One night I just decided to check on Ruby, because it's oh-so-sweet to remember why I love her when she's sleeping. Except she wasn't sleeping. She was happily reading to herself at 10:45 at night. When I walked into her room immediately she said, "Just one more book, Mom?" It was hilarious. I mean, I could either laugh or cry, right?

She's a tough cookie but I'm just planning on it being a phase. Otherwise I don't think I could get through it. Way too hard otherwise! There are many sweet adorable moments with her. Often times she'll just call my name and when I answer "What?" She'll say, "I love you!" She's also in the habit of announcing every day to everyone she sees that it is her birthday. While she knows her birthday is August 18th, she doesn't know that August 18th is not, in fact, every day. She can chat your ear off about anything and everything. And she loves to make up her own jokes and teasers.

 Growing into the new me.  Embracing the idea I'm not going to be myself for a good year or so is one I'm doing reluctantly. Perhaps accepting is a better word. Embracing the glory of pregnancy is a foreign concept. I recognize it for the miracle that it is, and motherhood is a sacred role to me. I've just come to acknowledge I'm not going to feel rested, energetic, or "glorious" until the baby is at least a few months old.  I'd say the hardest thing to accept is that unless I force myself to stay up past 11, I will not sleep past 3am. Take last night for example. I was so bone tired I couldn't keep my eyes open. I probably fell asleep around 9:30, though I tried my hardest to stay awake. Come 2 A. M. I woke up and could not fall back asleep.  It is a harsh reality knowing there's still a good 4 to 5 hours of sleep that I could be getting if only my body would let me. Here I sit blogging instead, at least trying to make something out of these sleepy, though sleepless hours. So yeah, embracing that awesome fact about myself is pretty impossible. But I finally decided to get a bump shot, seeing as how I've only taken those with my other kids the day before or day of having our kids. So this is improvement for me!

Me & the Bump, 18.5 weeks.

 Harvesting our "Garden".  I've always wanted to have a garden. But I have yet to harness the initiative to make it happen. Maybe next year! We do have strawberry plants in our back yard so that will have to satisfy my desire for now, and I will consider the fact they are still alive a huge victory on my part. The girls love going out back every day to pick them.

Swimming! Our 3rd attempt in 3 summers at hiring a "pool guy" has failed. He just stopped showing up after coming for 3 times in a row this season. I can't decide what to make of the situation.  I've done my best to keep the pool from looking like a swamp, yay for me! Definitely counting down when Dad comes back to give the pool a good scrubbing. The kids are enjoying it at least!

So all is humming along. The kids still bicker like hornets nest on many days, they don't love doing their chores, I'm not feeling like a rock star yet, the house does not look like it came out of a magazine, our 2 year-old is, well, exhibiting age-appropriate (ie patience-necessary) behaviors, and we are sorely missing having Kyle around her on a regular basis. But we've been victorious over a lot of things and it's a good life. Honest.