I am a Mormon

I have been my entire life. Sometimes I gaze out my kitchen window at the beautiful mountains I fell in love with as a teenager and wonder in disbelief  how this girl from Richmond, Virginia ended up living practically a stone's throw away from Brigham Young University, the now proud home of Jimmerville and Jimmer Mania.

Growing up I was envious of my cousins who lived in Utah and Idaho.  After summer vacations out West, I begged and pleaded with my parents to move there. Specifically Kaysville, Utah. After all, that's where my cousins and my grandparents lived. (okay, my crush Ryan lived there too. He was my cousin's friend who hardly knew I existed-- but I was convinced that could all be fixed if my parents moved!). Year after year they'd say, "Not yet."  They knew at some point in the future they would move out there, I just never understood why it wasn't time to move now.  I took such things like stable employment or home-selling into minor consideration. I just wanted a life like my friends and cousins out West had.  A life where they didn't have to wake up early to go to seminary because it was an elective they could take in school. They could walk to the stake center, see the prophet at the 24th of July Parade, watch conference on TV because the local news channel would broadcast it.  There was a huge dating pool for them, what with all those people who shared their same values, and they could have best friends who shared their beliefs on the same street. From my limited tween perspective, life seemed easier in Utah. I wanted that "easy" life.

But we stayed in Virginia. So I embraced life. I made good friends. I took an active role in student government and participated in clubs and sports. I woke up early for seminary. I drove 45 minutes to go to "Mormon Friendly" parties. We went to the stake center to watch conference.  I asked Mormon boys from different schools, even different school districts to be my date for school dances. I searched long and hard and paid a pretty penny to have sleeves on my dresses to those dances. I never drank alcohol, and never smoked a cigarette or tried drugs. And honestly?  It wasn't that hard. That's not to say those who drink and smoke are bad people and they can't do hard things.  I proved to myself that I didn't need to be in Utah to live my religion.  I didn't need to be in a sea of Mormons to swim with them. Although often surrounded by people who partook in a lifestyle that wasn't in harmony with what I believed, I could choose differently. That doesn't mean I was perfect. I made mistakes and if given the luxury of going back in time, I would change some of the choices I made and the things I did and even some of the things I didn't do, but should have. Those choices and actions were not a result of my not living in a place surrounded by my religion, though. Some were made out of poor judgement, some out of slothfulness, and others out of my own sheer stupidity. However, I was able to steer clear of those temptations that many teens find themselves wrapped up in that can ruin lives. It was empowering.

While in Virginia, I made fantastic friends of all walks of life.  Fellow classmates respected me for who I was.  I was never ridiculed, although I was a little different from most of my classmates. But that was okay. I was able to stand more firm in my convictions. I understood why I believed what I did. And I didn't question it. I was blessed with a really great support group: friends in my ward, my stake, and the next stake over. I was blessed with amazing girlfriends on my athletic teams who upheld high morals as well. And as an added bonus, a cute boy from Utah moved to Richmond. Ryan who? ;)


While I enjoyed high school and felt like I made the most of those years, I'd be lying if I didn't say I was thrilled to be leaving for  BYU. To go to a school filled with people who believed what I did sounded wonderful. I admit, as freeing and exhilarating as it was to FINALLY be at BYU, 3,000 miles away from home, I went through a brief period when I felt like a nobody. The last day of Freshman orientation I found myself overwhelmed at how many amazing and talented people I was surrounded by. I questioned if I had anything to offer. So many smart minds. So many people who excelled in so many things. And there I was, this little person from Virginia who had set out to make her mark on the world,  but instead realized she was mediocre at best. It was humbling to say the very, very least.  Frankly put (you have to say this with a Texan accent to really make it sing), I thought I was a somebody before I went to BYU. Then I realized I weren't nothin' special.

Fortunately I had a great friend snap me out of it. Tim was one of those amazing, talented people who I could have been intimidated by.  Among many other things, he was athletic, smart, handsome, humble, spiritual, and good-natured.  He  listened to my woes and surprisingly, he expressed having the same feelings. I decided if a guy like Tim-- a guy talented enough to be on the swim team {anyone good enough to be on a BYU athletic team was considered amazing in my book} felt like I did, then I was completely validated. I don't remember exactly what else he said, but afterwards I realized it didn't do me any good to compare myself to others. And my self-pity melted away. Just like that. I should probably tell Tim thank you. Timothy Pickett, wherever you are, thanks for listening, understanding and making me realize that I wasn't a loser. What a rotten first year that would have been if I had allowed myself to wallow in self-pity. Instead I realized that I could get out of BYU whatever I wanted to.  It wasn't about where I ranked with everyone else. It's where I ranked with me and my goals for my future. Yes, there were 29,000+ other awesomely brilliant students, but what a place to be to realize all of my goals and aspirations! It turned out to be a fabulous year. Of course full of highs and lows, but that's what college is. A roller coaster. A really, really fun roller coaster:)

So with all those cute, Mormon boys at BYU certainly that's where I was going to meet my husband, right?  Wellll, the summer after my freshman year I came home to work for the summer. I'd sworn off boys (the kind that were more than friends anyway) and was working at the Virginia State Bar in the MCLE department. Don't let that fancy title fool you. I was filing papers and answering phones. But it paid well and I had a weekend job leasing apartments, thanks my friend's Dad.  I kept very busy, working lots of hours, and my mom must have noticed that my social life was struggling.  She begged and pleaded with my sister and I to go to the singles ward. (Lingo for a Mormon congregation made up of young single adults. Not mental institution for un-marrieds.)

On Mother's Day we relented and as her gift from us, we went to the singles ward. I've never, ever since or before skipped out on church meetings, but we went to sacrament, endured Sunday school, and then snuck out and left before Relief Society. We both swore we'd never go back. It was quite a culture shock coming from a BYU student ward and going to a small singles branch in Virginia.

A few weeks later my good friend Nelson was back from college at SVC (now SVU) and asked if I'd go to the singles ward with him. Going with a friend didn't sound so bad. So I gave it another shot. And it was actually good. I think going with a guy helped. I still preferred my home ward, though. A few more weeks later, a girl in the singles ward who taught school with my mom told her that the next Sunday there was a Linger Longer (Mormon lingo for pot-luck meal after fast sunday) at the Metro Richmond Zoo. The bishop owned the zoo, it was closed on Sundays and lived next door to it, hence the locale. My mom pleaded with me to go. I admit, the food part is really what enticed me. I liked food. {not much has changed}So I made my go-to pot-luck offering of choice, loaded it into the car and headed to the zoo alone, since Sister was holding true to her promise of not returning.

The zoo was about an hour drive from my house. My car didn't have air conditioning and I was getting drenched in sweat.  Not exactly the look I was going for.  I was on the road in the middle of nowhere so I took off my cardigan, exposing my bare arms in a spaghetti strapped dress (GASP!) Just then a little red station wagon passed me. I noticed two clean-cut looking young men riding in it. The wagon had Idaho plates. GREAT.  Idaho boys inVirginia? They had to be Mormon. I quickly tried to put my cardigan back on, afraid I surely made a bad impression on these boys. You know, like I was a girl that talked the talk but didn't walk the walk? As I was pulling into the zoo parking lot, the red station wagon was turning a 360 in the gravel and I heard hooting and hollering from the driver in the front seat. I decided I didn't need to worry about my bad impression any more.

I got my pie-- Grasshopper pie---out of the car and it was pretty much a melted mush, even though I kept it in a cooler. That is how hot it was in my car. My frozen ice cream pie sitting on a pile of ice in a closed cooler in the trunk had melted, so shirking my cardigan in what I thought would be the privacy of the lone, country roads seemed like the reasonable thing to do.  I tried to be sneaky and put the melted mush on the table before anyone could see that I was to blame for it.  I dished up a very generous plate of food {Like I said, some things haven't changed} and sat down by some of my friends who had just come back from Ricks and began catching up.  Then I noticed there was a cute blonde boy sitting across from me at the picnic table. The same one riding in the red station wagon. Turned out he was here for the summer selling pest control. And we lived about 10 minutes away from each other, a bizarre coincidence seeing as how far and wide the singles branch boundaries stretched. I immediately decided he was going to be my friend. He had a shy smile, which was an attractive trait to me.  I had experienced my fair share of over-confident boys very aware of their smarts and attractiveness in the last 6 months. Shy? Quiet? Yes, I could handle that in a friend.

There's more to the story* that makes our story fantastic. But I'll have to save that for another day and cut to the chase here. In a nutshell I decided the singles ward was the place for me after all and went back the following Sunday. As the months progressed it turned out that Kyle was neither very shy nor quiet. One year and ten months later that cute, blonde boy and I got married.  And two months later, my parents moved to Utah.

Kaysville, Utah to be exact.**

I realized why all those years it wasn't time for them to move. That same summer I met Kyle, my sister met Jon, her hubby. {Melody decided that the singles ward wasn't so bad after all, too!} Had my parents moved to Utah we wouldn't have met our darling husbands. I wouldn't have made the friends I did, nor had the experiences I had. I wouldn't be the Mormon I am today.

There isn't one particular face that defines the Mormons. We are of nearly every country, culture, and tongue. We are a people slowly coming out of obscurity, being recognized as normal, everyday people. Often we are mistaken for those eccentric polygamists donning long, old-fashioned skirts and styling our never-cut hair into a bun, forcing our young daughters into unwanted marriages and blindly following sinister leaders like Warren Jeffs.  I remember back in fifth grade playing at a friend's house. She asked what religion I was.  I said, "I belong to the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints." She answered with a "Huh?" "I'm a Mormon," I clarified. "Being a Mormon... that means you're like part of a cult, doesn't it?"  I can laugh now, but at the time I was shocked, and truth be told a little offended that was what came to her mind. I did my best to dispel her preconceived notions about my religion without being combative or defensive, though.

We are considered by scripture, "a peculiar people," of which we take seriously. In a world where values are ever-diminishing, we are holding strong to them. In a world where the family is constantly under attack, we are tightening our grip, doing our best to keep our families whole and unscathed by Satan's powerful influences. We are finding the good in the every-day things of life, contributing our time and talents to improve the future for our children all over the world, even when there seems to be much to despair over and many distraction to waste our time and resources on.

Nearly ten years after I saw that shy grin across the picnic table in rural Virginia, Kyle and I find ourselves living in Utah, surrounded by Mormons. People like us in belief, but unique in their cultures and life experiences. While I never pictured myself living here after college, I'm so happy to be here. I do wonder if we'll still be here when Cade's older. Part of me wonders if he or any of our other children will take our religion for granted. Part of me fears they won't appreciate the conveniences there are that come with living here. But it doesn't do any good to fear. What's that saying? Come what may, and love it.  I do love it. I really, really do. And I'll do my best to teach our children to hold true to their beliefs and standards wherever they are, Utah or Uruguay.

__________

Allow me to introduce you to some Mormons that I've had the pleasure of knowing personally.  The first is Sheryl,  my childhood friend from Richmond. She's famous now!!




And Kyle and I met Vance when we were living in Alexandria. To me, he was and still is the epitome of optimism.




These next two are Mormons I've had the pleasure of meeting.

I've seen Alex in concert. He's hilarious, genuine, and I love his voice. I mean his singing voice is amazing. But I could listen to him talk all the live-long day. Those European accents....



I was at BYU with my sister for Ed Week a few years back and Jane was in the book store signing her new book. I walked up to her and got all choked up trying to tell her thank you for writing such a marvelous tribute to Mothers. Kind of embarrassing, but fortunately my sister Melody wasn't phased. I was just being Michelle, the girl who cries during Kodak commercials.




I think they each have a touching message to share. I hope you enjoy them!
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*{Kyle would have gone to the Singles Ward on Mother's Day, too and perhaps we would have met THEN, but the night before he was in the gym working out when one of the pieces of equipment broke and landed on his mouth, breaking his teeth. He was not about to go to a church full of single girls his age with broken teeth. So he went to a family ward where the speaker happened to be a Dentist. So he got them fixed and when we met a month later, he had a nice set of pearly whites to grin his shy cute smile at me with.


**That crush from Kaysville, UT-- the boy I swooned over as a 13 year-old girl? The boy I cried over at 16 when I finally came to the painful realization that his interest in me would never amount to more than a friendly pen pal?  {I mean that's all life was about then, wasn't it? Boys!} Well, Ryan came home from his mission and looked me up on the BYU student directory. He noticed I had a Kaysville, UT address listed for my permanent address (It was my parents' addy). He sent me an e-mail and said we should go out, thinking we were in the same town.  I wrote back, catching him up on like the last 5 years of my life finishing the email off with being married and pregnant, living in South Carolina. I thought about teasing him with something like "The early bird catches the worm" but thought maybe he wouldn't have gotten the joke.  Anyway, now he's a world traveler, musician slash professional tongue maker. Which makes me think he definitely would have laughed at my joke. I mean, to be serious about a tongue costume, you can't take yourself too seriously.


 Here's one of his finest works of art:





Kyle is a huge fan of Morgan the Orabrush Tongue/Dave Ackerman. So, perhaps my "painful" past with Ryan will prove fruitful one day. He and Dave are bffs. :)

{I think after writing this post the subtitle should be something like : Hey look at all the people I know on YouTUBE!}