Calm before the storm

Yesterday I enjoyed the ultimate gift. A dear friend of mine presented it me in the most perfect way, too. Being a woman, she understood the importance of being able to schedule this gift, while also having plenty of time to prepare and look forward to it. As grand as surprises are, I am learning in my wise old age of almost-26, that the planner in me thrives on scheduled surprises.

A week ago she called me and told me to get out my calendar, pick a day, and she would come over and play Grandma to Cade and Savannah while I did whatever I wanted. I almost choked in, I don't know, utter excitement, sheer shock, ultimate gratitude for dear friends who are concerned about my mental health. It was so touching.

There were some rules involved.

I was not allowed to answer my phone, run any errands, stop by anyone's house. I just was to do what I really wanted to do and bathe in selfishness.

I dug around in my office to find a spa gift card Kyle had come home with several weeks ago. He's incredible that way-- always wanting me to take time for myself while he's slaving away in his long summer hours. He's smart that way, too. You know the saying, "When Momma's Happy...." I found the gift card and then picked out a book from a stack that I had borrowed from the library (I don't know why I always check out like 8 books at a time --from the same author even-- actually thinking I'll finish even one before my 3 weeks is up. I guess there is something about feeling like I still have a choice of what to read from a mini-library depending on my mood. Odd duck I am.)

My plan: Pedicure and Pool. Simple, solitary, and it would allow me to savor the moments instead of time flying by before I could really appreciate it.

I had the morning to get the day going and slash a few items off my to-do list. Noon came and she arrived, Grandma bag in tow. Cade promptly shooed me out with his polite choice of words: "Can you leave now, Mom?"

It's interesting leaving the house alone, especially when you're used to spending 12-17 minutes loading up, going back in for a potty break, getting a snack, realizing a shoe fell off along the way, etc. I took me a matter of 30 seconds from exiting the front door before I was at the end of my driveway in the car, heading to paradise. After walking in the spa to make pedicure appointment, I went to Target to grab a quick breakfast/lunch. I felt like I was seeing through different eyes and hearing through different ears. There were moms with kids in tow, frazzled, exhausted, and their tones were far from cheery and encouraging. They snapped at their kids, scolded them for touching things in the isle, and all I could think was, "Oh, don't talk to your child that way! He's just a child!"

I had to stop myself right there and laugh, full knowing I don't think I have EVER been in the grocery store with my children without eventually using that drained, exhausted, and irritated tone in my voice.

I enjoyed the pedicure then headed to the pool. Alone. Me and my book. Occasionally I stopped and looked and listened, watching the other moms playing with their kids. My mind floated to my own kids and I got a bit sentimental thinking about them. Time has already flown by so fast. I thought about how I have been so good lately at being so caught up in the go-go-go that I haven't slowed down to cherish them. I was then overwhelmingly taken aback by the realization that my days with them like this are so short. Before long they will be teenagers, then adults, and all I will have left of my life as it is now are photos and memories. I made a promise to try harder, be more patient, more loving, and to slow down.

I think that is one important reason why Moms need to have a break every once in a while. To have those moments where we can see through different eyes and hear through different ears--- so we can recognize the work that we are doing is sacred, and these children we have are growing up fast and this is the only childhood they will ever know and it is up to us to make their childhoods magical, memorable, and to teach them what's right.

I have alterior motives for this post. I have to put these thoughts down, because as mentioned in my title, this was the calm before the storm. So many times I have thoughts like this and fail to put them on paper and it doesn't take long to forget them. Kyle is now out of town for a few days and it's imperative I remember all those things I realized while sunbathing in my own little quiet world. It's going to get noisy, the kids are going to be disobedient, I'm going to be tired and unable to escape. But it's okay, because what I am doing is important. I just have to remember that and keep my voice calm and sweet and patient. Oh yeah, and get to church on time.