My sister posted this on her blog yesterday --- thoughts that I have actually been mulling over myself the last while and tomorrow I get to answer for myself the seemingly ultimate question:
is everyone else's kid really that much smarter than
mine?
Cade is your average 3.75 year-old boy. He loves to run, he loves to talk loud (yell), and he loves to vroom his cars around. He does not like to listen, pay attention, follow directions, etc. In fact, he has just recently started up a little basketball class. While the other kids dribble, pivot, and shoot on request by the coach, Cade is leading a revolution and running away from wherever they are supposed to be, waving to me hollering, "Hi, Mom! Can you see me?!" His first word well beyond the age of 1 was "ball" (or was it dog??). No profound questions at the age of 15 months. No profound statements at the age of 2. Just a very energetic boy. But should I use "just" ????--- that certainly does not do him justice because I love the kid, and he is full of individualism. I know, I'm his mama, and I would love him no matter what. I love him for the average boy that he is. He cannot write his name. He does not know how to spell his name. He does know the letter "A" fits in somewhere. He does not know his phone number, much less how to write numbers. We had a brief moment of instruction today when he showed an interest in trying to organize his cars by what letter they start with. "L" for Lightning McQueen! Hooray for letters, Mom, but it's time to go back to the race track.
He's almost four. Is this okay? There are parents in my midst who assume if kids don't know this stuff, express an interest in this stuff, enjoy LEARNING this stuff, they are banned to a life of mediocrity. Oh my. Maybe I am justifying my lack of good parenting (because you're only a good parent if your kids know all this stuff) with this post. Really I am prefacing an upcoming entry: I get to be a fly on the wall at Cade's pre-school tomorrow. No one else's parents will be there. Just me. I'm going to be hanging around the room, acting like I belong there, hoping not to disrupt the structure and I'm going to see for myself if all those "smart" kids are really so smart that it is visible in leaps and bounds in a social and educational setting. I'm not saying my child is not intelligent. I'm not throwing in the towel and saying he's doomed to struggle in school. I'm simply letting him be 3, while trying not to stress over the academic accomplishments of his peers that the parents are constantly throwing my direction.
While on that note I must say, those people who do have obviously intelligent children--what do they call them-- emergent learners? (shows you how familiar I am with the concept!)-- that's really fantastic. What a blessing! I am in no way trying to play down the greatness of super-intelligence or the importance of scholastic achievement and fostering bright minds and allowing them all the tools they need to succeed. I think it's absolutely adorable when big words come out of little mouths and when the youngest of toddlers can rattle off the ABCs and sound out words. Just please don't look down on my child (or me!) for being average.
I suspect I'll observe, and a teensy weensy part of me wish Cade was a little more like Ally at listening, a little more like Sarah at taking turns, a little more like Marcus at drawing, and a little more like Ryan at giving intelligent answers (as opposed to repeating the question back to the teacher); I'm also likely to find triumphs in his forgiving nature with Anthony (he whacked Cade in the head Tuesday with the coveted Thomas train), enthusiasm for story time, appetite for snack time . . . and think he's the greatest 3-year-old a mom could ask for.
6 comments:
Amen. Let's just let our kids be kids for a while! Do we really need a bunch of baby einstein's? (figure of speech, nothing against the videos...:)) I mean, didn't einstein flunk out of high school?
He sounds great to me! And of course he runs insteads of dribbles. He was born to run. You are his mom ;-)
He sounds perfect! Having children who are really smart could be difficult with all the questions, etc... So I think we all should be grateful for what we have! Your the best Michelle! Besides I don't think your average, you got into BYU and graduated that counts for a lot :)
Michelle, you know I don't have kids yet but while in church teaching little kids, each is different and develops differently. Just think of high school kids, each is extremely different! I am excited to see you guys again this summer, yeah Chicago, yeah kids!
I totally agree! I remember when I was going into Speech Pathology they were all concerned with kids doing certain things by a certain age, and now I've come to learn that the majority of the stuff I learned is a bunch of balogne. I've been around young children a lot more lately and I've come to learn that they are all so very different and there isn't a "certain age" for everything. And you've heard about Uncle Robert who wouldn't even say a single word until he was 3, and now he has a PhD!
ps. I need some blogger help, Jake's been blogging a lot more, making posts and commenting, and I don't know how to make separate names for each of us but still be on the same blog. I notice that you and Kyle do that and wanted to see how to do it.
Like you said, we all have children with different interests and abilities and we should simply be happy for what they CAN do. All we can do as parents is our best, and even if that doesn't mean perfection, it will be okay. I think what's important is that our children know that they are loved and valued for their individual greatness. I know its easier said than done, but we should really try not to compare our children. I find that I'm less stressed (which in turn means my family is happier) when we focus on their strengths and gradually introduce new concepts as we find it appropriate. Sometimes I'll want to teach my kids something that I am ready for but I have to stop myself because I know they aren't (eg: pottytraining!) I just need to chill and let things happen.
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