11 summers

This last summer marked my 11th summer as a "significant other" to my pest controlling man. The first summer I was a friend slash almost girlfriend. The second I was officially a girlfriend. (Lucky me!) And ever since the 3rd summer, I have been a wife.

That third summer was a doozy. It all started out fun and adventurous. As newly-weds we rented a darling 1 bedroom just outside Charlotte, North Carolina. We worked the same hours and the same job. Selling pest control contracts door-to-door. Glamorous. Kyle was far superior than I at it, which was a good thing. After 2 months, we left our cute little home and travelled to smaller cities throughout the south spending a few weeks in each city. As a single guy, this would have been a great situation. But as a married couple who just got the surprise of their life {the puking and nausea were a result of pregnancy. Not a parasite caught in Cuzco, Pero  after all}, it did a number on me. I was no longer able to work and was left hours at a time car-less in a stuffy, and more unbearably stinky extended stay apartment.

"This is what newly-wed life is about?" I pitifully pondered. I was so, so sick. Smells of all sorts, including the smell of our little extended stay repulsed me. The smell of my husband-- even the showered and clean-shaven smell!-- sent me gagging over the toilet. Again.

The end of the summer couldn't come fast enough for me. Heading back "home" to Provo to go to school was my solace. I remember coming down University Parkway and seeing Y mountain against the most beautiful sky. It brought tears to my eyes. I finally felt like the "endurance" part of the pregnancy was over. With the mountains in view I could overcome anything. Even though the nausea remained and I would dart from class to gag again in the toilet, there was something about this place that made it bearable.

And so my love of this valley was reignited and has burned ever since.  It was always sad to have to bid farewell to the valley every summer though for the pest control gig.  I had always wondered what a Utah Valley summer was like.  Friends who stayed at BYU often told of the laid-back atmosphere surrounding the campus in the summer time. Traffic slowed. And 7 Peaks Water park opened. What could be better?

When we moved back here  I looked forward to making my own discoveries of what summer was all about.  Indeed the dry weather was delicious. There was always just enough to do in the summer time and the heat was rarely oppressive. Living close to family made it more fun and living in a fantastic neighborhood with wonderful friends have made the summers not just endurable or bearable--- quite honestly they are enjoyable and I still claim summer as my favorite season.

There would be some give and take, though, finally staying in the Valley at Home for the season.  Kyle would travel and we would spend many weeks apart.  He would leave during the most stressful time -- April. Soccer practices, games,  end of the year school assemblies and activities. But once I made it through til the kids' summer began, I managed.

Many ask each summer how I do it. How I can stand being apart from Kyle for so long and take care of the kids on my own for weeks at a time?  Over time I have learned a few things that help with my sanity, but the root of it is this: if your livelihood depended on it, you would do it, too. We all do what we have to do. This is what works for our family at present. While it may not be an ideal commuting situation, I cannot deny the abundance of blessings we have received because of this, financially and otherwise.

Lest these words have thus far painted a bold picture of myself as a superwoman-- an independent mothering woman who does it all, I will be the first to walk away from that portrait and paint you the real one: I am no superwoman. Just a real woman.  During the summers I often find myself rushing to put the kids to bed at night, and can't deny the relief I often feel when 7pm rolls around. I have often missed magic moments or just simply being in the moment because my thought process can often be "destination" programmed rather than journey enjoying. I am less than exciting to talk to at the end of the night when Kyle calls to hear of our day and less than appreciative of his hard work when I had a less than stellar day.

I have great kids. That makes up for a lot of it. And their greatness I can only thank the Heavens and my God for because gratefully they are very different than their mother.  Savannah lives so much in the moment and finds joy in everything. And Cade is so thoughtful, aware and responsible it is almost frightening. Ruby, as a toddling baby has been a joy and manageable (mostly!) up to this point. Babies are so good at bringing sweetness into the home, no matter how chaotic or stressful the environment. She often brought be back to reality and reminded me to take in the sweet moments.

Another secret weapon for my summers is something I wonder why I didn't start doing sooner. I mean, logistically I don't think I ever could have done it sooner; financially or otherwise. But these last two years we've been able to make it work.

I get away.

I "bookend" my summers with two uplifting, fulfilling experiences and  leave Kyle in charge while I re-charge my batteries, catch up on sleep and feed my Spirit and belly.

It has been a proven method to help me  gear up for the summer, then give me something to look forward to at the end of it.

And Kyle couldn't be more supportive of it, which makes it all the better.